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I think I'm losing my best friend

Uh, I doubt that it would happen but please don't mainpage.

To be honest, it's been happening for a while. To be even MORE honest, I should have lost (ditched) her a long time ago but I'm the queen of ignoring problems.


So, for a bit of background. I'm from a small town and I went to a small, Catholic school. Growing up I didn't really know many people. I also never really felt like I fit in. I recognize this is probably a problem for most children but I don't think I'm being dramatic when I say that it was likely a larger problem for me than for the average child. I've never really connected with people; I've lived mostly in my head. I've always wanted to connect with the people around me but I never knew how. (This is much less of a problem now.) Well, when I was 11 a new girl joined my class. Let's call her Anna. We clicked immediately. Somehow we were both the same oddball, misfit child. We felt disconnected and different from those around us in the same way. We didn't feel that way about each other. We just got each other. This was the first time I'd ever experienced something like this. Up until this point I had friends only in the sense that I'd known the kids in my class since we were five and birthday parties meant everyone was invited. That's not really friendship.

Anna went to my school for two years. We were inseparable. We only hung out with each other. Then, she moved to Florida. I visited her once. When I was 16 Anna moved back. We were back in school together for a year. At this point it was clear that our lives had diverged somewhat and yet, at the same time, they had not diverged at all. She moved again after a year. Although we've both moved in and out of that town since then, we've never been there at the same time for an extended period. There have been some short overlaps, so we've been back together a few times, but nothing long term.

How I started losing my best friend. I'm not exactly sure when it happened. Maybe it had been going on for a while and I just didn't realize. She's crazy, way out there Libertarian. Libertarian with a capital L. She's also an MRA. She'd say egalitarian but I'd say MRA. She believes the gender construct oppresses women. She also believes the gender construct oppresses men equally. Remember the Order of the White Feather!! Women handing out white feathers to men who weren't fighting to shame them! I'm not saying that wasn't a horrible, shitty thing but... Also, in the case of child support (where the parents aren't married) each parent should contribute 50% to child care, regardless of whether one parent makes way more than the other. Any other division of responsibility isn't fair. Of course, I shouldn't have been shocked by this one. She is, after all, a Libertarian. They believe a flat tax is fair, don't they? She used to think she was a feminist but then she realized that many feminists hate men (news to me).

And then let's talk about those crazy days when SCOTUS was deciding the two gay marriage cases. Her only input (shared on facebook) was that the government should have nothing to do with marriage. Ok, great. One, how the fuck does that work? Two, so we're going to make people wait until the some crazy Libertarian utopia before they can have equal right to marriage? Really?!


But here's the overall issue. I'm not lying when I say she's an incredibly intelligent person. But then how does she not see that Libertarianism benefits the middle class white person? I mean, she thinks we should get rid of the Department of Education! She thinks education should be privatized! She thinks that if education were privatized all the serious education inequality our country is plagued with will go away! What?! NO. You know what would happen? Illiteracy would fucking skyrocket. You know WHO it would skyrocket for? The poor. People of color. The people that would get fucked over (hard) are the people that are already getting fucked over enough as it is.

Apparently, the war on the second amendment is one of the worst things going on right now. SURE.


I have to ignore her facebook (that failed today which is what brought on this post). I have to be very careful on phone calls to avoid certain (most) things. I have to try to steer her away from most topics. I love her to death. I dread when she calls. I've not picked up the phone several times because I didn't have it in me to risk a bad call.

How do you disconnect from a friend? How do you disconnect from a friend that has meant so much to you? One that, despite everything, still means so much to you? I've never had to break up with anyone before but I think I might need to do it. I don't want to do it. I don't know.


I'm too lazy for proofreading so apologies for any typos/fragments/run-ons/generally ambiguous lines.

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