The dude I was casually dating/fwb-ing last spring messaged me last night to apologize for how he treated me toward the end.
We had a few boundaries set: (1) I didn't want to hear about other girls; (2) When he was with me, he needed to be with me — no texting other dating/hookup girls or Tindering when we were together, on the honor system; (3) When he was done, he needed to tell me instead of dragging it out or slow fading me, no harm/no foul. He broke all three in some pretty egregious ways and our break up was super messy because of it, not least because he insisted that he had been the consummate gentleman and a good friend and that I was being immature about everything because I didn't want to spend time with him. (Long story short: I was out with our friends, he joined us and proceeded to talk about other dates, Tinder, and hit on other women all night, until I called him out and we broke up. The next week, he passive-aggressively harassed me at a bar we both frequent for three hours until I blew up).
I pretty much gave up on him ever understanding why I was upset with him — he's a good guy with a weird combo of a huge ego, self-confidence problems, and a low emotional intelligence quotient. But last night, out of the blue, I got this series of messages from him:
I have been doing some thinking lately
And I kno that this is very likely too little, too late
But i did some things to u that were very wrong
And you definitely deserved better
And as a result i wanted to apologize
I'm processing a little here, and will eventually respond
And he finished with:
U dont owe me a response
Now, it's not perfect as apologies go. Part of me wants him to be more specific about "wrong" things and why he's apologizing now, but it's such a big progression from eight months ago that I'm thinking about taking it and running.
My general reaction last night: