So, you all may have called it...

UPDATES ON APOLOGY DUDE! Many of you were suspicious that he wants back in my pants, despite living thousands of miles away. You might be right. MAYBE. (Fluter might need to kick some ass after all!)

He's been messaging me a lot on Facebook over the last 24 hours. It started because I happened to leave a comment on a post that happened to agree with a comment he had also left earlier (not explicitly saying I agreed with him, just a comment that tracked with it well). He messaged, "Thanks for backing me up!"

Uh, dude, I wasn't backing you up. I was just speaking to my experience. (I said this).

But he keeps talking to me, and eh, I'm kinda bored so whatever. Internally, I'm like


But he's been talking to me on and off all day. This hasn't happened since we were seeing each other.

And (the most damning piece of evidence)... "Btw, ur profile pic is beautiful"


I brushed it off but WHAT IS THIS SERIOUSLY. I live in Wisconsin, he lives in L.A. He did mention in passing that he's going to be in Milwaukee (about an hour and a half from me) for his brother's med school graduation in May, but that's kinda far out to be laying foundation for a reunion, isn't it? Mental reaction to having sex with him again:

GROUPTHINK WAT DO? Speculate wildly with me!

I think this is good?

The dude I was casually dating/fwb-ing last spring messaged me last night to apologize for how he treated me toward the end.

We had a few boundaries set: (1) I didn't want to hear about other girls; (2) When he was with me, he needed to be with me โ€” no texting other dating/hookup girls or Tindering when we were together, on the honor system; (3) When he was done, he needed to tell me instead of dragging it out or slow fading me, no harm/no foul. He broke all three in some pretty egregious ways and our break up was super messy because of it, not least because he insisted that he had been the consummate gentleman and a good friend and that I was being immature about everything because I didn't want to spend time with him. (Long story short: I was out with our friends, he joined us and proceeded to talk about other dates, Tinder, and hit on other women all night, until I called him out and we broke up. The next week, he passive-aggressively harassed me at a bar we both frequent for three hours until I blew up).

I pretty much gave up on him ever understanding why I was upset with him โ€” he's a good guy with a weird combo of a huge ego, self-confidence problems, and a low emotional intelligence quotient. But last night, out of the blue, I got this series of messages from him:

I have been doing some thinking lately

And I kno that this is very likely too little, too late

But i did some things to u that were very wrong

And unacceptable

And you definitely deserved better

And as a result i wanted to apologize

I responded:

I'm processing a little here, and will eventually respond

And he finished with:

No prob

U dont owe me a response

Now, it's not perfect as apologies go. Part of me wants him to be more specific about "wrong" things and why he's apologizing now, but it's such a big progression from eight months ago that I'm thinking about taking it and running.

My general reaction last night: