I'm going to get my hair cut today! I don't pay for hair cuts because spending money on things is for suckers (I'm really bitter that food and cigarettes cost money). Normally what I do is grow my hair until its so long I can't see anymore, then shave it all off, repeat.

However, right now the person I'm seeing is very against me shaving my head. I think she is missing out on seeing how totally hot I am with no hair, but whatever. The compromise is that she will be in charge of cutting my hair, otherwise I take matters into my own hands and shave it off (I don't mean to make her sound like a jerk, she has a saintly amount of tolerance for my mustaches and other facial hair experiments).

Anyway, the reason I bring this all up is because I would like to invite Groupthink to come up with suggestions on how I should cut my hair. Maybe something like this?

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I think I'd instead want my initials on the side of my head instead of those lines. Maybe something more formal, like this.

I got to admit, I'm kind of liking mullets right now in a non-ironic way. I really want to make this a competition. Like, the comment suggestion that has the most approvals is how I cut my hair. My judgement is poor enough that I'd do something like this, but I've voluntarily given my hair power to some one else. Still, any suggestions would be appreciated.

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This is how much hair I'm working with.