I present to you an entry-level applicant’s guide to ensuring you never get a job.

The organization I work for is currently in the process of hiring for an office assistant position. We held preliminary interviews with applicants at the beginning of July, and about two weeks ago we brought in the finalists for their second interview. At the second interview, we told the interviewees we would get back to them with our final decision in a week or so. However, we are a small non-profit organization and unforeseen issues took priority over the hiring process. It’s taking us longer than expected to come to a final decision.

Last Thursday, my co-worker (who has been managing the hiring process) received the below email from one of the applicants (the applicant had also copied my co-worker's boss). Mind you, it had been less than two weeks since this person’s second interview.

All names replaced with letters.

Good Afternoon,

Now that it has been nearly two weeks since my second interview with X, I was hoping that I might have received a final notification regarding the status of my application for employment with your organization. As X personally told me that I would have been notified regarding his final decision by no later than Friday the 26th of July, and, failing that, having received Y's personal assurances that she would contact me as soon as possible following X's return from an unannounced business trip which I received from her over the phone, I can only assume that my application has been unsuccessful.

Far be it for me to tell you how to run your branch of the organization, being the entry-level employee that I am.Nonetheless, be sure that even I know the meaning of the word "professional courtesy." By now, you must have hired an assistant and, by now, any other professional organization would have let their anxious applicants know that they are no longer being sought for the position. A simple email would do. Applicants should not have to call or email the office and be lied to on more than one occasion by a person or persons in authority who repeatedly tell them that they are still being considered for a position that has already been filled.

That is not to say that cutting all further contact with a prospective employee whose application has been unsuccessful is not, unfortunately, an accepted practice. However, if it was your intention to follow this protocol, it was highly unprofessional for three separate people in your office to encourage me on separate occasions that they would be contacting me via email or telephone with updates to that end. Unprofessionalism at this stage can only be indicative of an unprofessional and amateurish business model which I have no interest in being party to. I believe that your company is setting a very poor example for the young professionals I met in your office on my visits including Z, and the three gentlemen I met on the afternoon of my meeting with X. I hope that their professionalism and common courtesy has not been tainted by your lack thereof, and I wish them the best.

I would formally ask that you no longer consider my application to your organization.

If you wish to speak with me, I encourage you to contact me via email or telephone. Otherwise, I thank you for your time and wish your organization the best, particularly in the coming months.

Regards,

Entry-level applicant who will surely find it hard to get a job

I love how this applicant knows what the definition of professional courtesy is, but doesn't understand that sometimes when working in a professional setting (especially in a small organization) things come up. It hadn't even been two weeks since their second interview. Whatever happened to sending a polite email asking about the status of your application?

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Funniest part is that this person was still being considered for the job before they sent this.

Whew! Dodged a bullet with this one!

Kids these days...

ETA: By popular demand, here is the response the applicant received:

Entry-level applicant who will surely find it hard to get a job,

Thank you for the enlightening email. As you may not be aware, when working in a small business or organization, matters often arise unexpectedly that must be dealt with immediately. As a result less crucial decisions often need to be delayed. Such has been the case with the hiring for the administrative assistant position. X has been traveling and working on several urgent matters, so we are still in the process of reviewing applicants and making the decision about how to proceed with this position. Never fear, your name will certainly be removed from consideration.

Y