My muthufucking apartment has bedbugs. They started at my roommate's, but when the people sprayed they didn't put down any protection and told her to take her mattress protector off (Don't ever do that) so the bugs spread out and now I have them. We had to put everything in bags this month while they sprayed, and now I have to wash all my clothes, even the delicates and dry-clean-only stuff. I had to buy an expensive bed-bug mattress cover and put a bunch of money on my laundry card. And rent is due now. And I gotta buy a new metrocard. And pay my therapist.

Yesterday at work wasn't so hot either. First off, people kept hitting on me (What are you? No, I mean your ethnicity! Oh so exotic! Call me! etc. ) and it was really really getting on my nerves. Secondly, my boss's asshole boss was in doing side projects, criticizing us for stupid shit he never told us about before, and stinking to high heaven. Seriously, I can smell the man from 3+ feet away because he's a trustafarian who doesn't believe in deodorant or washing his clothes. I couldn't even try to ignore him like I normally do, because I could smell him behind me. The man is only in town on visit, thank God. Most of the employees agree turnover would be a lot higher if he was in every day. Most of us work 8+ hours on our feet with no breaks. There's a lot we can take - but he pushes us to the breaking point.

On top of it all [ETA: TRIGGER WARNING]...

a guy walked into my bar who reminded me of my rapist. I figured it was no big deal: I've done my soul-searching, my PTSD is pretty under control...but I couldn't stop looking at him. I would turn my back to the man and it would make me uncomfortable. I started dropping shit and feeling sick and ruminating on what happened two years ago. I could almost taste that latex in my mouth, just like back then. Then the dude came up and asked me for a drink and I felt really shitty. His hand brushed mine as I was giving him his change and I had this intense desire to wash them. I was just full of "I can't with this right now..." but unfortunately the asshole boss was there so I didn't feel comfortable taking a glass of wine and going on break. Like I said, we don't really have them at work. So instead I coped with fantasies of verbally eviscerating my a-hole boss.

Now I'm sitting on my bed in my sad sad mess of a room and I'm hating everything. The fuse has blown in the living room and as much as I fiddle with the fuse box I can't get the lights to come on. I'll call the super in a bit, but right now I just want to hate everything. Fuck my budget. I'm ordering in tonight and watching Orange is the new Black. Because I deserve it.