Because I am really sad and there is no one else I can tell it to. It might be kinda long; I dunno yet.

But it started with this: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Event?…

A totally cool play that my boyfriend suggested we see. I thought it would be awesome and I hadn't seen a play in ages so I was stoked.

I met him for a drink at a bar. I was worried because he seemed to be kinda drunk already but maybe he was just happy; I don't know.

We left the bar and I was even more worried because he was slurring and walking a little off, so I asked him if he was okay. He said he was.

When we got to my car he pulled out a flask of Wild Turkey (101 proof, I guess) and took a swig. I felt bad because if I'd known he had a flask I wouldn't have met him for a drink. I asked him to be careful with how much he was drinking because he looked fucked up, already.

Advertisement

I found a parking spot and we walked to the theater. We got front seats even though I am so uncomfortable in the front row at a play. ("What if they fuck with us?!" I asked, and he said, "That's the point!")

The play started, and I was having so much fun. It was smart, witty, tongue-in-cheek and all the performers were bringing their A Game. (A-Game? I dunno.)

It was awesome. So much fun. And talent. And then I heard a snnrrt to my left and noticed that my boyfriend was asleep. I elbowed him and he woke up, and I kept having to elbow him through the whole act.

Advertisement

When the curtain fell, signalling intermission, he looked at me and said, "I think I have to go."

Ho-lee-fuck, was he drunk. I stood up, took his arm, leading him to the exit. I wanted to go to the bathroom but my fear of his faceplanting in front of the women's restroom trumped my bladder woes.

Funny part: I have the worst sense of direction. I had no idea where I'd parked. I followed my drunken boyfriend around for almost an hour. We ended up in Seattle Center. My boyfriend sat on an elevated curb thing (is there a name for those?) and told me he was sorry.

Advertisement

Then he tipped forward and rolled into the pathway, hugging concrete. A woman pushing a stroller with two little girls skipping behind her gave me a dirty look. I looked back, then looked at the sky. What does she expect from me? To keep control of the person I am with?
The person who is out of control? Har. Har.

We walked around for a long time. I eventually found a "honey bucket" to pee in 'cuz, goddamn, I had to pee.

But eventually I found my car and we got home. I'm not even embarrassed that my boyfriend fell on the ground and caused some person I don't even know to scold me. I am sad, though, that it happened.

Advertisement

Dunno how the play ended. The beginning was great.

So sad, I've been, though.