The girl NEVER. SHUTS. UP. Except when she puts her headphone in to listen to her music, which is glorious. I am so glad I watched OITNB this weekend and met Soso, because hearing the girl at work, and picturing Soso brought me much joy and prevented head explosion. The thing is, this girl is a capital-N Nerd. So awkward, in every direction. As a high-functioning nerd myself, I sometimes feel as though her endless ramblings are in a language only I can understand. I pity my co-workers for having to sit through gibberish, but I pity all of us for being subjected to this white-noise.

She usually shuts up when another person is talking, but only until she thinks of something else she wants to talk about. I feel like I am about to get very good at steering a conversation. I already know what NOT to say to her.

NEVER ask her a follow-up question. If you didn't hear it, just wait a minute and you'll know exactly what you missed.

It's not like she's discussing great things. It's not like she's concerned about current events. She's talking about detailed plotlines of books she's read (that we haven't) that are becoming/have become movies & tv shows (that we haven't seen) and it's just so hard to listen to. She's so earnest about it all! She tries to get us interested in these things by telling us what happens, rather than a mood-summation of what it's about. That's what I did when explaining why Independence Day was so awesome to my brother when I was 13. She just finished college. One would think she would have the skills to do more than replay scenes verbatim.

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She tells us all about her health problems. We only met her recently. She hasn't worked here long. She does what Facebook tells her she should. She is not skilled at her job.

Have you worked with someone like this? How did you deal? I sort of feel like I should take her under my wing b/c I speak nerd, but I'm not sure the people I work with know how well I speak it. I'm not sure I want them to know. Today she hit the trifecta: Game of Thrones, Doctor Who (Doctors 9-11), and Sherlock. It's like I saw a flare from across the room, and suddenly I knew who she was and what she was doing. And it all happened as it was supposed to. One thing led to another in the same guided conversation nerds have been having for ages.

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She's naive enough to not understand that when no one else wants to talk about what you're talking about, you should stop talking about it. When no one else has any idea what you're talking about, don't go into the intricate details of why you think it's great. She's a small-world-Nerd. I'm a grand-scheme-nerd. How do I politely explain this to her? I'd love any advice you can give. I fear I will one day wig out like Arnold.