Dear family, please stop posting and reposting crap that offends my eyeballs.

I'd block them if I could, but sometimes they post stuff and want to tag me or my sisters or boyfriend in it. Except they don't know how to @tag someone, they just caption it 'I thought you'd like this one, Lauren!'

Here is a real status update my cousin's wife made about her baby granddaughter's birth:

You actually just told the world that your son's girlfriend, mother of your grandchild, didn't have to have her cooch sewn up after birthing. Because that's really important for everyone to know.

My dad posts shit like this all the time. I'm about one tit pun away from sending him a notarized cease and desist letter.


Here is a smattering of all the dumb shit my aunts and my other relatives like to post. Oh except my favourite aunt. She believes that no one over 50 should have Facebook. She's probably right.