Goddammit, dog. That's the second roll of toilet paper you've shredded in the last week.

I send you out of the living room for barking during work calls, stomping on my work computer, and generally being an ass. This is NOT an acceptable response. No wonder I have to buy the Costco boxes of the stuff! It's wasteful and dumb and makes a mess all over the rest of the house. I am so mad right now, she's in her kennel until I can stand to look at her again.

Like I said, if I wanted to clean up shredded tp, I'd have adopted a cat. I bet a cat would behave better than you! And quieter!