... why am I so upset?

So, yesterday, I had an MRI to see what’s going on with my back/hips/legs. Went to see the orthopedist today to hear the results... and I’m fine. Not a damn thing wrong with my hip or knee joints, my spine is well aligned, no bulging discs, no nerves being pinched... all of my bones and joints are apparently in great shape.

The problem with this is that, even as he’s telling me this, I’m shifting in the chair because my hips ache from sitting for the whole 5 minutes I was in there, and I’m getting a cramp in my upper thigh like I do 20 times a day. But oh, yeah... I’m fine. Nothing wrong with me.

I wanted to cry.

There is something wrong, goddammit! I’m 35 years old, and somewhat overweight, but I should not be unable to climb stairs, or stand up without leaning on something or someone. I should not be waking up in the night because my legs ache so bad I have to go sit in the tub in the hottest water I can stand. I should not feel whatever the fuck feels like things are grinding together behind my left hip. I should not get terrible muscle cramps in my back, butt, hips, and thighs 20 times a day.And I definitely should not be in pain pretty much all the damn time.

I’m so frustrated, I want to punch something.

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