So a ways back I wrote about trying to relieve my sexual frustrations via this new dude. But shit kept getting in the way. First I freaked out. Then he was busy. Then I was out of town. Then I was busy. Then I was sick/on my period. Then he was busy. Three weeks from our first meeting we meet again, and things are progressing very nicely and we're cracking jokes and he's looking pretty damn sexy and we're making out and I realize oh shit, that's not his leg my thigh is rubbing on, that's his boner oh shit! and then we've got our shirts off and he's about to go downtown, so I interrupt him to mention " before we go any further you might want to know I have HPV (the not-wart kind)...even though it's super common and not really a big deal I thought you'd want to case it matters to you..."

Turns out it did. So no sex for me :'( He said what I've heard several times before from various men and women: "blah blah thank you for telling me, that was very brave blah blah blah OMG you got it from being raped, I'm so sorry blah blah blah I don't want to risk it for a one time hook up blah blah blah I don't think any less of you blah blah maybe after we get to know each other better—"

Wait, what?! He wants to maybe keep hanging out?

That last part threw me off guard, and the next thing I know he's pulled out his guitar and has started singing love songs. I was smitten so fast I got whiplash. Afterward he holds my hand and we fall asleep...

I don't know if he was being so nice to me because I told him I got raped (to be fair, he asked how I got it), or what...but I asked him if maybe we could have lunch soon and he said yes. Only time will tell if his schedule is too crazy for us to date (or if I'm too crazy), but I haven't felt like this about someone in a while. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's a little bit like I'm defrosting. My best friends told me that I'd probably be bad at hookups; I'm just too damn emotional to not get drawn to someone or have them get drawn to me.


Fucking artists. This is why I don't date them. They come in with their romanticism and their devil-may-care attitude and their hectic schedules, and they upturn your life...I'm the only one who is allowed to do that! You can't have two people of that temperament in the same space, dammit! And sitting there, shirtless, playing fucking love songs on acoustic guitar?! UNFAIR!