in the "Most Fucked Up Things People Have Said To Me During My Breakup" post. Yeah, I get it, she's a little whiny about something most of us can relate to. But it's really fucking SHITTY to de-legitimize someone else's personal trauma because you don't view it as traumatic, or because you have been through it and didn't have a hard time, or because you've been through worth and are still...alive. That is a sure way to really fucking up someone's world and interrupting their processing of a trauma - discounting their personal pain as trivial.
It's a big pissing contest. My parents are just coming off of a really nasty divorce - and my dad is somewhat a narcissist and somewhat psychologically abusive. You know what someone says to me about this, when I'm dealing with it? "At least your mom isn't in poverty and your dad didn't rape you."
YES. I KNOW THAT. THANK YOU. I AM THANKFUL THAT THIS HASN'T HAPPENED TO ME. IT MAKES ME FEEL AWESOME THAT THESE TEARS I WISH WOULD STOP ARE COMING FOR A STUPID REASON.
That does not mean my pain was not real, or that I don't get to be upset.
My mother is also a cancer survivor - she had a close call with melanoma spreading when I was in middle school and high school. You will never hear someone who has been touched by cancer have this pissing contest about going through that hell - but a lot of people act like I'm a huge idiot when I speak about my experience. As if I'm ungrateful that she survived - just because my hell didn't turn into the hell others have suffered.
This also reeks of women-treating-women-shitty. There is such a stigma about letting your personal life affect your job - and I get it. You have a job to make money for a person who is probably your senior, and you need to continue to do that. But time and time again, it is proven that mental health days, employer support with work-life balance, etc = better employees = more money. Yet this woman can't handle THAT woman who has to pick up her sick kid all the time, and this woman can't handle THAT woman who has no kids and expects to get to spend time with her boyfriend, and this woman can't handle THAT woman whose mother died but she has a bunch of siblings to take on the funeral stuff, etc.
Sorry, I hate...hating.