I have been gone from GT for days you guys, I have missed all the juicy gossip and fun things! I bet you guys all posted 4 bread recipes each and made up a cool theme song for the Hive Mind while I was away. It's OK guys, I'll forgive you all if you each send in one loaf of tasty, carbolicious bread. In return, I shall spoil you with wedding mishaps and Bachelorette stories!

So my sisters Bachelorette party was this weekend. She was expecting a 3 day affair, but it really just boiled down to one day. This was kinda crummy since that one day was the day she was supposed to pick up her wedding gown. We had gone in on Friday to pick it up, but it was still lose in the boob area (if she leaned back, the dress stayed in place, and when standing next to her, you could see her bra a little bit looking down). Her bridal portraits were on Monday, so they said they would have everything fixed by Saturday afternoon, PINKIE SWEAR, and we could pick it up then. We figured everything would be OK, we'd just leave for a little bit during the Bachelorette, pick up the dress and go straight back to the party. We'd miss a little bit, but not too much (despite driving through Houston traffic on a Saturday) and we'd still have a good time.

So Saturday rolls around and my sister wakes up in an extremely horrible mood. She has Cyclothemia (if not full blown BPD) so she has these crazy intense mood swings. I'm not kidding when I say she'll go from laughing to full blown rage scream-crying in less than 2 seconds. Then back again to laughing. Generally she can be in good moods, but wehn she wakes up in a bad mood you're stuck with wildly fluctuating emotions and rages throughout the day for no reason. Case in point - we had to pack to go to the hotel for the Bachelorette. She couldn't find the two specific pairs of underpants she wanted so she started screaming at her fiance and yelling about how he never does her laundry (he is the only one who does laundry) and never puts anything where it goes, etc. He looks through the same drawer and finds them instantly. She laughs and calls herself a dork. She goes through this about 4 more times when looking for various other things to pack. This is basically just life with her, and thankfully he handles it pretty well and doesn't take it personally or react to her anger (which I'm pretty sure would result in death). So she was basically in a horrible mood and had cried 4 times already before lunch.

We've been having some problems with the bridesmaids lately. Most of them do not talk to her at all, even when she initiates. This is really hurting her feelings because this is the wedding and her bridesmaids of all people should be happy and excited. They are not. Most of them just see being a bridesmaid as being a VIP at a cool party. It's very irritating. Also, the bridesmaids are formed from two separate groups of friends and at the bridal shower, the two groups did not try to mingle at all. They stayed in separate groups and talked amongst themselves. Most of the time, this meant ignoring my sister unless they thought they could win a gift. She had a talk with one of them after and she felt very bad and has stepped up and was throwing the Bachelorette (with the help of another bridesmaid). With my sister in a horrible mood and the past history with the bridesmaids, she was determined to not have a good time (I'm pretty sure this must be part of her disease, because holy fuck does it happen a lot). I was determined to make sure she had a good time, so I was went in Peppy-Overdrive, which for me is pretty insane as I am normally pretty full of pep and oomph anyway.

Well, we get to the hotel and what do you know. They immediately split into factions. My sister was trying to be social and nice and have a good time, and then one of the guests pointed out the separation to her and her bundle of nerves just exploded. she decided to leave the hot tub and go back to the room so we could get ready and leave and get the dress. She made a pretty moody exit. We got ready and left. The girls tried to text, but she refused (leaving me to deal with all of the drama, which I hate. I am probably going to get an ulcer).

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We tried to leave. There was a graduation at the convention center our hotel shared a garage with, so we were stuck on the same floor for 20 min. She started freaking out and screaming and crying and honking her horn. I made her park and call her fiance so he could give us the ride. Her emotional level was already at a 9 out of 10, and you cannot comprehend how hard that is to deal with (as she fluctuates between depressed and enraged on a second by second basis at that point). He gets us and we drive the 45 min down to get the dress. We got her into a pretty good mood during that time though, so things were looking up.

We went in and got the dress and put it on one more time to make sure everything fit alright. I go to zip her up and ... the zipper would not go up past the halfway point. At all. I think that maybe it's because I'm sore from my gym classes. I try to hook it up top first, and that was just not going. Then the horrible realization kicks in for both of us at the same time - they made the dress way too small.

Now, this is already already a pretty horrible and stressful thing for any bride to go through. This was supposed to be her day to pick it up, she only had a little bit of give taken in near the boobs, and yet somehow this dress was now about 2 1/2 inches too small all the way down to her waist. She had already been fitted for the dress about 4 times. Then compound that with the fact that she had her bridal portraits on Monday, her wedding is only a couple of weeks away and then the fact that she has a terrible mood disorder and today was already a "bad day".

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She flipped her shit. She started screaming full blast for me to "GET IT OFF" and once I did she got dressed and ran out of the store sobbing. I started crying because holy fuck. I was upset for her, worried for her and pissed the fuck off at the complete incompetence. I am not normally confrontational, so when the alterations woman came into the stall to see what was wrong, I kinda went full Mr.Hyde and tore into her.

I asked how this bullshit could possibly have happened. She said that that was what my sister wanted, since the dress was pinned that way. I say that that's not fucking possible since it was pinned YESTERDAY, and was pinned with my sister in it. It was impossible for my little 5'2, 100lb sister who cannot gain weight to gain 2 1/2 inches OVERNIGHT. She just blinked at me, stumped as I cry-raged at her excuses. Then she went to get a manager. The manager comes to look at the dress and tells me to get my sister to come back.

Thankfully as I went to get her, she had already come back (bolstered by her fiance, who is amazing and the only thing that keeps her sane) and was ready to possibly commit murder to get her dress fixed. The manager has her put the dress on. As I'm helping my sister into it, we hear the original woman tell her that it only doesn't zip up a very little bit at the top. I open the curtain and show the manager no, that is not true. The zipper cannot go up for the last 8 inches. The manager takes one look and tells us to hold on. Then this angel who was the first alterations person we saw, but never saw again appeared. She takes one look and asks us what happened. We tell her how we came in the day before, got pinned and came in that day to pick up and this is what we got. She immediately rallies to our defense, shoos everyone else away and gets right to work, apologizing the whole time. She was angry at her staff (apparently she is the alterations manager) for such a huge mistake, angry that they had not double checked my sisters measurements and angry that they had caused my sister so much grief. The more she talked, the less my sister and I cried. She even got us to smile and laugh! She was an angel! She promised that she was going to call in the best person she had for Sunday, and supervise everything herself. She'd call as soon as it was done and help my sister with everything that was needed, even if it took all day.

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Somehow after all that horror, we left laughing and smiling. We were drained, but we headed back to the party, and my sister was finally determined to have a good time at her Bachelorette! I called ahead and told the girls what had happened, and that plenty of alcohol would be needed for our arrival. My sister was greeted with hugs and booze and we got ready to go out.

My sister ended up taking 12 shots in about 45 minutes. She barfed all over this lovely loungey bar bathroom, made a thousand jokes about it and then went back out for more booze and dancing. We had a great time and I saved the inflatable penis as a token of that evening that she can use to look back on fondly.

We hung out together Sunday and she recovered nicely. We had some good bonding time then. We went back to get the dress and it fit perfectly! Monday, I skipped some of my classes to go with her to her bridal portraits. She was GORGEOUS and looked like a freaking Victoria Secret model!

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I got very little sleep, but it was worth it. I'm glad she had a good time overall, especially with how everything started out and the whole dress mishap. I'm glad that we got to bond and do all of these great wedding things together. I'm glad that while we were gone, the bridesmaids listened and started to mingle and play nice with each other. My sister is now much less stressed about the wedding, which means she won't get as many crazy mood swings, which means that she'll be able to finally enjoy a lot of the planning stuff (what's left) and her time with her fiance before they're married. It was a great weekend.

Kind of as a side note, but I really love my sister. We are crazy close, even with me being her punching bag during a lot her rages. I know it's because she can't control her emotions when she gets upset, and that she unleashes a lot of it at me because she knows that I'm always going to love her no matter what. It makes her feel really guilty, and she'll make it up to me when it happens. It sucks when it happens, but it really isn't very often. I don't want people the think she's just this crazy-angry person, she's not. She's incredibly smart, and insanely funny. She's generous and thoughtful and sweet and dorky. This post didn't paint her in the best light, but as I said this was a bad day. Thankfully they aren't very common. I'm just happy that she ended up having a good time and letting go of a lot of stress.

Now, please tell me what I missed guys! (Also, Amazon has a sale on OPI gel color polishes!)

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(I haven't been mainpaged before, and don't really see it happening with such a random and badly written post, but just in case - Do not mainpage please.)