Please Jezzies, give me support in walking away from this relationship and not letting myself be convinced to stay with him.
My last post was a request for advice about being in a relationship with a dog lover when I am not. There were some that said it was a fundamental incompatibility. But we actually worked it out. I was happy with the compromise and foolishly thought we were well on our way to healthy coupledom. And then last weekend happened and I am trying to get the hell out of dodge.
Friday, we were supposed to meet up. Forgotten phones and mix-ups occurred, so I ended up having dinner with a friend. I offered to pick up something for him to eat. He says he can meet me in the city. I try to dissuade him from doing that since he is ALWAYS late and after a full day of working on a damn farm (long story, don’t ask), I did not have the will or desire to wait for him. He insists that he will only take 30 minutes to meet me. So I agree. And of course he was late. And he didn’t text that he was running late, I had to text him to see where he was. And now I am full annoyed. And when he arrives, and sees that I am annoyed, he walked away. No words, no apologies, just turned heel and walked away. What had I done you may wonder? I rolled my eyes and asked what took him so long.
I literally had to yell his name three times to make him stop and talk. “Are you seriously just going to leave without saying anything? I left my friend and waited for you and you just walk away without saying ANYTHING? Don’t you think that is just a little bit disrespectful?” I didn’t raise my voice, I didn’t yell. I was honestly in shock and wanted to make sure I was reading the situation correctly. I ask if we can discuss this at his place and he said he didn’t want me to come back with him. But he graciously (/s) agrees to go to an empty bar to talk.
I tried to calmly explain why I was annoyed. And in the middle of me talking, that motherfucker walked away again! I thought he was going to leave me in the bar, but he left his backpack and went to the bathroom. When he returns, I leave and tell him to text me when he is ready to talk like an adult. And then I don’t hear from him again until this past Monday. And it wasn’t even an apology. He just says he hates when we fight.
By Saturday, I had already made my decision to break up. I honestly thought I would never hear from him again. Like, he would totally ghost on me. What disappoints me the most is how comfortable he is disrespecting me, especially since it is so early in the relationship. I saw my future with him and I would rather be alone that with someone that can make me feel so unappreciated. So please send me well wishes. I agreed to see him tomorrow to talk. I feel like I owe “us” the respect of telling him in person. I just don’t want to get weak and then try to rationalize a way of being with him. Would it be bad to just send a Dear John email and count my clothes at his place a loss?
ETA: I did it! I texted him, it’s over. I feel so...disappointed. But I am happy that I did it. When he wrote, “you sound like I was abusive, this was my response,
You were abusive! You walked away from me because I was annoyed. You refused to talk to me and then you waited until Monday morning to write to me. I thought you were going to ghost me. This is textbook emotional abuse
Thank you Jezzies for giving me permission to be selfish and do what I need to do to protect myself