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My girlfriend is a twenty five year old woman so she is a bridesmaid for what seems like 400 weddings right now. Its taking up a lot of her free time but at least she gets to tell me all sorts of funny stories about bridesmaid drama: being forced to buy dresses she doesn't really like, discovering she doesn't really know her friends anymore, fun stuff (for me to hear about).

Anyway, the other weekend she was meeting up with the other bridesmaids for a... entmoot? I don't know what its called, but they ended up playing Cards Against Humanity. She had to tell everyone what "bukkake" means, thus establishing her role as the slutty bridesmaid. "Ew, how do you know that?" they asked. "Because I'm 25 years old and I live on Earth, which has the internet," she replied, but it was too late. She spent the rest of the night answering their "dirty" questions while they pretended to be offended by all the cards. During, she sent me this text: "Playing cards against humanity and realizing i'm 90% more fucked up than everyone here..." And that's why I like her so much.


I asked her a little bit ago if she was going to do one of those sexy bridesmaids photo shoots that Jezebel keeps telling me is a thing that happens. She said she was, with "tasteful" nipple tassels, and I can't even tell if she is joking or not.

Illustration for article titled Im Dating the SLUTTIEST Bridesmaid

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