Welcome To The Bitchery

And it’s going great! It’s actually really manageable—I hate to say “anyone can do it” but, honestly, I think just about anyone can do it. It’s pretty easy and cheap, though it does take a little bit of time.

First, make some fucking bomb ass enchiladas with tons of veggies and beans and cheese.

Then, eat them for dinner one night.

Next, eat them for dinner a second night (and this is important) exactly one day later—do not give yourself any time to recover from the first night, get right back into those delicious, cheesy motherfuckers.


Finally, on the third day, shit your brains out for just, like, hours (this is the time consuming part—do not make plans to be more than 20 feet from a toilet at any point this third day).

Optional: Go to yoga on the fourth morning and, ass in the air, pray to god and all things holy that your cleanse is done and you won’t have to find a new studio and new yoga pants.

And, honestly guys, I feel very confident that my system’s pretty clear and I’m probably losing weight, though I haven’t weighed myself.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter