I’m probably not fired, fucked, but at the very least my boss is very unhappy and we have performance reviews coming up.

We’re having a big event on Saturday, and part of my job is to add our events to local calendar listings. Which I swear I did. I know I did it because 1. it’s mostly calendars for kids events and one of the movies we’re showing is Raiders of the Lost Ark which is unusual for us, so adding it sticks out in my mind. But for some reason the listings didn’t go through on all the calendars. It’s on some, but somehow the two that my boss cares most about it’s not on. And we’ve sold hardly any tickets, so it’s an event that she’s especially stressed out about.

On top of that, there was a huge list of people my coworker and I were supposed to reach out to about another film series. There’s an important group that in our meeting my coworker said she was going to contact, but my boss sent out an email this morning asking who was handling them, and my coworker said I was. She realized her mistake, but it just looks like I’ve either been incompetent or straight up not doing my job.

I’ve been sick since mid-August, work has been particularly busy with an event that I was overseeing plus the event coming up this weekend and I’ve been so overwhelmed, plus going through a bought of depression, and I’m basically in full on panic mode now, which I know won’t help anything, but I’ve been so busy that whatever small ability I have to cope has been stripped away. This was my biggest fear while I was job hunting (I was out of work for like 2 years before getting this job) - that even if I got a job I’d be mentally incapable of handling it, and even trying my hardest I’d make so many stupid mistakes that I wouldn’t be able to keep a real job.