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I'm mad at men right now (tw infidelity)

Last night I went out for drinks with a friend of mine. Long story short, he propositioned me for sex after telling me that he wasn't really into his girlfriend. I declined and went home. Then I cried, because this sort of thing happens to me all the time and I fucking hate it.

A few weeks ago an acquaintance messaged me on my birthday to wish me a happy one, but also to tell me that he didn't know if he and his girlfriend were going to work out and to tell me that he missed me. I didn't respond positively, and as of right now he is still with that girlfriend that he was so on the fence about.

Prior to that, it was a friend who recently separated from his wife and decided to use PUA techniques on me. He became upset and flustered when I refused to kiss him after enduring about 20 minutes of his PUA bullshit.


And those are just examples from the past month. I have many, many, many more.

I'm tired of losing friends because they want more. I'm tired of men telling their girlfriends that they love them, then turning around and telling me that they don't really love them and that they've always been curious about me, attracted to me, interested in me, etc. I'm tired of playing the priest and the star in someone's drunken Facebook confessional. I'm just fucking tired of it.

The worst part, the absolute worst fucking part of all of this is that it makes me so, so scared to trust men. Oh, you're willing to cheat on your girlfriend to be with me, but I should trust that you won't cheat on me once you realize that the fantasy of me doesn't line up with the reality? SURE I'LL JUST GO AHEAD AND DO THAT. Then I can spend our relationship wondering if you actually mean it when you say you love me, or if you're telling some other girl that you don't *really* love me.

Dealing with this has really taken a toll on my ability to trust romantic partners. I generally date people I'm apathetic about so that I won't care if they hurt me (if my little online stalker is reading this, yes, I am referring to you). Or I date someone I really like (which I'm doing right now) and I completely sabotage the situation with my absurd anxiety and self-doubt. Which I'm doing right now.


I'll have to figure out how to trust at some point, but this rant has got me thinking about how I deal with these guys right now. My general protocol has been to turn the person down and then cut off all contact with them. I don't really want to get involved in other people's relationships, plus I always figured that if the guy was really that much of a douche his girlfriend would eventually figure it out. Last night was kind of an eye-opener at how deceptive someone could be, however. And I would want to know if I was in that situation. I just don't know if that's something I should meddle in.

So, GT: if y'all were me, would you reach out to the girlfriends of these guys and give them a heads up about this shitty behavior? Or am I better off just staying out of it?

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