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I love alcohol, especially beer. My job is centered on it, as a matter of fact. It's a Thing That I Do.

But right now, I am not doing that. Aside from July 4th weekend, I haven't had a beer in um, almost three weeks? Maybe less than that. I'm not really keeping track.

What I am doing, however, is cutting way way way down on the amount of beer I drink. I'm not an alcoholic and I don't have a problem with it, but my waistline could use a break, so I am taking one.


This... baffles people. It really confuses them, and I am wondering just what the hell is up with that. I know non-drinkers encounter situations where people are all "oh, you're not drinking? Not even one? Why not? Oh, just have one. I won't tell."


Why is it so unacceptable to say "None for me, thanks." I'm choosing to drink water today, so more beer for you! And... considering the amount of beer I am able to put away (I am a Professional), that's a good thing for you! More beer! Just none for me.

A couple of weekends ago, I took an overnight trip with the ladies and our daughters. It was our unofficial Girl Scout camping trip (in a hotel, with a waterpark, because that is how we do it) and after the girls went to bed, everyone busted out the wine and I was all "no thanks, I'm fine." Mostly because I didn't feel like it and also because reasons. Reasons that are really nobody else's business.

But MY GOD, you guys. My. God. You would have thought I said I was becoming a nun. The other ladies were shocked that I, of all people, wasn't going to drink any alcohol! Never mind the fact that I said I just wasn't feeling it. Oh no. That was not a good enough explanation. They wanted reasons.


And that's where I stopped because... why is it up to ME to make other people feel okay with my choice to not drink? The ladies were really uncomfortable with it. One of them even said that. "You're making me uncomfortable!" Um, okay? Sorry?

This weekend, I feel like I am going to be in a similar situation. We are headed to a birthday party for one of our friends' kids, and there will be plenty of booze there. I probably won't be drinking any of it, and I can already guess what's going to happen. Ugh, I am not looking forward to that.


What do normal people do in a situation like this? I am not a normal person, and it's going to take maybe two people being all "OH MY GOD YOU'RE NOT DRINKING?" all aghast and shocked and shit before I start saying some shit that maybe I should keep to myself.

And WHY do people do this? Why? Why can't they just take "no" for an answer and move on with their day? I'm fine over here with my water, now let it go.


...and people wonder why I try not to ever leave the house.

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