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Welcome To The Bitchery

And if I am stupid, it's unrelated.

Please, allow me to vent. I've been *very* fortunate to have a smooth and safe pregnancy so far. So I realise that it's a privileged position, because I've had nothing else to worry about, but I am so sick of people's opinions, advice, condescension, pats on the head, and all that. The following are daily:

-Oh you don't have [X symptom] yet? Just wait :):):):):) (even though every pregnancy is different and 99% of the ones people said, I never got)


-ARE YOU EXCITED?? (is there a right answer to this? If yes, I'm a hysterical new parent, if no, I'm an emotionless bitch. In reality, I'm just relaxed about it).

-Oh, you bought [X buggy, baby furniture, etc]? Ohh, that's [cheap shit, overpriced, not what I chose, I'm jealous, I'm smug, all of the above]


-Oh ha ha look forward to childbirth (amazingly, I HAVE heard that birth hurts. I know this)

-Oh, get sleep while you can! You won't be able to sleep soon! (also amazingly, I am aware that babies cry a lot)



-Let me tell you about how I nearly died in childbirth, in extreme detail.

-What's the gender?? (do I need to update you about what's in my uterus? And the word you're looking for is sex, not gender)


-Do you hope it's a boy or a girl? (seriously, I just want it to be healthy, and if I did have a preference, why would I tell YOU, random, so that there's a 50% chance you know I'm disappointed with the random variety of offspring I have?)

-Which names are you considering??
and when I respond that that's kind of personal
-You don't want my opinion on your baby names?


-Awww you're nesting! (because I'm knitting/gardening/baking/ cleaning/peeing/anything and everything I've done my entire life)

I'll stop there but this last 8 months? I'm ready to start throwing eggs at people. MY OWN EGGS.


Thank you. <3

PS This is what came up when I googled "I'm not stupid":

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