The first amazingly horrid line: "I'd fall for you harder than Bran Stark."

Let's ignore that paralyzing a child is not a good way to start a flirt (I DON'T CARE IF IT'S A STORY IT WAS NOT NICE). The part that bothers me the most there is the grammar. He has phrased it in such a way that either Bran Stark has fallen hard for me, or that he has fallen hard for Bran Stark (more likely the second, my grammar nazi like knowledge is limited). I BELIEVE HE MEANS HARDER THAN BRAN STARK FELL FROM THE TOWER IN WINTERFELL AFTER JAMIE LANNISTER PUSHED HIM. All the detail isn't necessary, but just clarify your sentences.

The second, that actually made me cringe: "I won't go down in history, but I'll go down on you."

Here's the thing about this one: I was already talking to this guy. We had been chatting. Suddenly, out of nowhere, this? In the words of a terrible old MTV show, NEXT.

Lastly but not leastly, a pseudo pickup. This comes with a slight trigger warning, because I'm going to sound a bit fat-shamey/anti-fat here, but this is really just personal insecurities.

"You're almost attractive, but I really like my women to be over 300 pounds. I know big girls stick together, and I know you're not that big, but do you know anyone I might like?"

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SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THIS. One, I don't care if you're rejecting someone for being too thin or too fat, you are still reducing women to our physical appearance. WHY THE FUCK DO I WANT TO THROW ONE OF MY FRIENDS AT THAT BULLSHIT. Second, being well over 100 pounds less than his minimum weight requirement, what the fuck was the point of this? To call me fat and make me want to cry?

I HATE YOU MEN OF OKCUPID AND TINDER. I REALLY WANT TO JUST DATE A WOMAN NOW, BUT THAT PROVES EVEN HARDER WHEN YOU'RE BI.