I've been trying to figure out why I've been so down this past month and I think I figured it out: I am so lonely it hurts. I am the perpetually single person in a family/friend circle of daters. And it's started to suck. It's mainly the whole why doesn't anyone see me as worthwhile? thing that I can't shake.
I feel pathetic about this because it's so not that big of a deal in the long run. Never having a relationship at 22 isn't really massive and I'm about to do so much. I've got a semester abroad to look forward to and then graduation. But when 90% of my best friend's conversations are about her boyfriend and my younger sister is likely getting engaged as we speak, I'm just feeling absurdly sorry for myself.
I know rationally this is nothing but its just been weighing on my mind. I could put myself out there and start relationship hunting but I feel so up in the air about where my life is going and I have 22 years of experience telling me that people are not interested. I've been rereading this poem for twenty-year-olds who have never been loved and it's been making me feel a lot better, because I feel that way right now.
So I wanted any other late bloomer stories you all may want to share. I know I'm not a unicorn in this and maybe just be reminded of it will help. If you made it to your 20s or 30s or 70s feeling like me, I'd like to know how it worked out for you in the end.