I’m taking a mental health day today and I’m posting this to ensure a. that I actually do it (although I’d have to leave now to get there on time and I’m not even wearing clean underwear yet), and b. work through the guilt so I stop feeling bad about it. Which I shouldn’t. Because I need it.

Why do I need it, you ask? Oh, GT, I know how interested you are in the minutiae of my life! As all people should be, you are. (Health TMI below.) (Puppy in fridge because that’s what I want to do right now but with my bed.)

It’s a combination of physical health, mental health, and burnout. I’ve been having GI problems for a few months, and a few weeks ago ended up in the ER with gastroenteritis (which presented like appendicitis, meaning that they could do nothing for my 8/9 pain in case I needed surgery SO FUN YOU GUYS). Anyway, my followup appointment revealed a whole lotta “eh, I dunno, we’ll do some stool tests” (gross), which revealed nothing, I think? And a week later I had a physical (complete with surprise pap smear), and more tests. My doctor’s office called last week to tell me to come in for even more tests, but since my doctor was out of town at a conference, they couldn’t tell me why, just that it’s “nothing serious”.

Meanwhile, my doc put me on a different allergy med (Flonase) and a neti pot, which awesome in terms of treating my allergies (seriously, Flonase is great and I love it), but the neti pot is messing with my ENT system, and since I have small ear canals and lots of thick earwax, it’s making me feel like a balloon. Which is apparently normal, and should adjust eventually.

Also meanwhile, I’ve spent the last week getting huge horrible red bug bites/stress hives all over, including some on my toes, which are itchy and exhausting and Benadryl makes me too sleepy to take it during work hours.

In the further meantime, I’m completely overworked and burned out at my job, and while I’m looking for a new one, nothing solid has come up and all my applications to open job listings haven’t even resulted in a phone call. It’s so absurd that even my therapist is looking for jobs for me.

On top of that, I’m producing a play of my own for the first time in five years in a local festival and it’s fun, but super stressful, considering I’m producer, writer, social media team, stage manager-ish, fundraiser, and final word on all the things.

So I’m taking a mental health day. I’m not going to feel bad about it. I’m just fucking taking it. (Even though last week was a four-day week. I. Don’t. Care.)