Won't you come save me, Mr. T?
For some reason I've been really weepy and forgetful and self-loathey these past few weeks. At first I thought it was my wonky period, but even after that passed and I was enjoying myself immensely back in my hometown I would have these sudden and intense bouts of emotion. I would think about Sokka, or my dearly departed doggie, or I'd get concerned for my family or something and I'd have to choke back tears. During the flight to see my family a video for Cesar Milan came on and I started sobbing in my seat. Luckily the guy next to me was asleep, but it was still embarrassing. Today I texted Sokka to see if he wanted to hang out, but when he didn't answer my brain went: You stupid-head, Sokka is probably busy with some other girl. You need to get a life. Then I smiled at a cute guy with his dog and thought: idiot, he may have smiled back but he's definitely not interested. Even if he was he's probably taken, definitely out of your league, and you're way too much of a weirdo disease-ridden spazz for it to matter anyway. Then I went into a bookstore and started crying, which made me embarrassed and frustrated and started an anxiety attack.
I go to see my therapist tomorrow, and I'm trying not to beat myself up for beating myself up for feeling sad. It's hard work.