In which I try to figure out if this guy from my A&P class is a creep, an idiot, or both.
This guy, he seemed perfectly benign, ya know? Definitely a bro, but he seemed OK. Now, a series of micro irritations, each forgiveable alone, have added up to my wondering WTF this guy's about and feeling mildly uneasy about him (but not threatened). This would be completely irrelevant if he hadn't asked me to tutor him, which would mean one on one time with this guy. So, help me out here, am I being too sensitive?
1) He didn't technically ask me to tutor him, he said, and I quote, "I'mma need you to tutor me." He didn't even say it in an inquisitive tone, he said it like it was assumed that I would tutor him. This is the fourth time he's taken this class (I present that fact without further comment) and he figured out that I was getting an A. Then he said that he would tell me when he was available with no inquiry about my availability.
2) During a discussion about "settling down" and marriage he told a story about a woman who said that a guy had four years to propose to her, followed by "and it's not like she was even a 10 to be saying that, ifyouknowwhatimean." :|
3) He said he liked my dress. Now, this requires explanation, and I very well may be completely overreacting about it, but I don't think it was my dress he was complimenting. I don't think he's very interested in fashion (aside from sneakers, which he showed me a picture of on Instagram... he Instagrams his sneakers). The dress is a little tight across the hips (a maxi dress, nothing lewd, my mom gave it to me) and, given the context of point 2, I have a feeling that "dress" was coded language. Also, I could see where he was looking, Now I feel like dressing like a Quaker (love you Quakers!).
4) On break I was outside talking to another classmate about a serious personal situation she's having (her first anniversary is coming up and her husband's father passed away days before the wedding, so, yeah) and he just came out and interrupted us mid-sentence. Boundaries!
5) He was texting in class. Why should I take my time to tutor him if he doesn't even pay attention in class?
6) It was raining when class let out today. He told me, "I'mma come under your umbrella." I responded, "I don't know about that, it's pretty close quarters," and walked away towards the door. He chased after me, clearly still thinking he was going to share my umbrella. "This is a one person umbrella."
So... what do you guys think? Also, he called me a girl, which was annoying. How do you say no to a request that wasn't even made when assent was assumed without being rude and causing friction (I'm trying to be more diplomatic)? Should I tutor him? It seems like he's working on failing for a fourth time (he failed the quiz today and said, "I should have studied with you," after I'd already told him that I was busy anyway, does he listen?) and I could help him... and teaching someone usually helps the teacher with the material. I'm not a person who has trouble saying no, I'm just not sure if I'm totally overreacting. And if I go with no, do I go the passive aggressive, sosorryimbusy path or just tell him straight up, which could potentially open up the "But why..." conversation?