(PLEASE DO NOT MAINPAGE, JUST IN CASE)
I apologize for the multiple posts this morning, but I just found a way to articulate something that I've been struggling to put into words this week.
I know we all have our quirks and our baggage, but my girlfriend's problems are starting to overwhelm me.
As I've mentioned elsewhere, she was in St.Louis for a job interview. Her academic background and passion is computer programming, but for the last 3 or 4 years she's been doing PC repair, and she hates it/the people she works with. She's trying so hard to get a different job, but she is insistent she can't get a programming job because she doesn't have enough experience, she's too old (she's 30 lol), etc. I'm trying to be supportive in her job hunt woes, but I know NOTHING about the computer programming industry, and I never have anything helpful to say when she's looking for some friendly feedback. Her back-up plan to getting a programming job is to apply to grad school, which is admirable, but I'll believe it when I see her working on an application (job, school or otherwise). Despite her loathing for her job, she honestly only really works up the motivation to look for something different about once every 4-6 months. She's smart and she's capable, and even if I know fuck-all about what she does with computers, I know she probably could have gotten a different job a long time ago if she really wanted to.*
Also, I'm starting to worry that she smokes too much pot. I know this is probably the pot (heh) calling the kettle black coming from me, but she just smokes so much, i.e. multiple times a day every day, and it bothers me. We had to drive ~3 hours each way to St.Louis yesterday, and we probably weren't even 2 hours out from our apartment when she said she could really use some pot right then. And she was only sort of joking because she definitely said the same thing at least 3 or 4 times more, at which point I just rolled my eyes and said nothing. I love a tasty bowl of the good shit, but jesus christ, there is more to life than smoking weed.
Finally, I've suspected that maybe my girlfriend has some form of hypochondria (among other things), and last night I sort of got confirmation of that. Last week or so she hit her head really hard on something in the bathroom. Whatever she did wasn't enough to make her pass out, but she's had a tender spot on her head since then, and I guess that spot was bothering her last night. She started freaking out and googling stuff about head injuries, and by the time we went to bed, she was pretty convinced she had a minor skull fracture that would require surgery. I told her she should go to a doctor if she's that worried, and she kept saying she didn't want to see a doctor. Then I told her to not see a doctor (I was getting annoyed). Then we had a lot of back and forth about whether she should see a doctor. To my surprise, she went to the urgent care clinic in town this morning, and she found out she has a mild concussion. Skull fracture, my ass.
Blah, I'm sure I sound judgmental, and I expect to be flamed, but these are problems and situations I'm specifically not sure how to deal with, and I'm starting to get overwhelmed. There's some other stuff she's done/that's happened that makes me fantasize about breaking up with her, but we've been together for something like 19 months, so I feel like I can't walk away from this very easily.
*I know this sounds dangerously close to when people say unemployed folks should just get a job, but I wasn't sure how else to describe it. At any rate, there is a serious inner loop of self-doubt and self-discouragement when it comes to her trying to look for a job.