To Matt Forney, self-proclaimed pickup artist and dickhole extraordinare:
Your argument is full of holes. Let me point them out for you so you can spare yourself the embarrassment of making them again.
First off, I don’t really give a shit if your dick “deflates like a punctured tire.” Your dick is not my problem. :)
You base this whole argument around the idea that women don’t actually WANT freedom and independence, despite whatever we may say to the contrary, so I have a proposal for you. You don’t really WANT to keep your balls, no matter how much you might think you do, so let me help you with that. Oh, you don’t like that idea? Well then maybe you should ACTUALLY LET WOMEN SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES about what they want.
Your first argument is “most girls have done nothing to deserve self-esteem.” You say men work hard to gain respect and women just expect to be handed it. I think you’re mixing up your definitions. Respect for living beings is what people with a conscience extend to every person. Respect for a person’s achievements is based, unsurprisingly, on their achievements. I expect that all people, all genders, races, and religions, are accorded the first by all decent human beings. Since you are obviously not one, I assume you respect no one. Women’s achievements, however, are numerous. You say the world would go on as normal if all women were suddenly fired from their job. I beg to differ. My support department would absolutely fall apart without my female coworker who tells truck drivers how to repair our products. Many people with disabilities would die without my friend who is a caregiver. Patients that see my female doctor would be sick and without medicine, as would a lot of people, since 33% of doctors are female. That’s a lot of people who wouldn’t be able to see their doctor, and male doctors could not pick up that slack. Then you go on to say that you have more respect for your starving artist neighbors, because “it takes a lot of work to learn to sing and play the guitar.” And yet you disrespect women with college degrees, unless it’s in a STEM field, because college is apparently very easy and anyone can do it. As a person who can sing very well and took 8 years of classical piano lessons before teaching myself to play guitar, let me tell you: earning my master’s degree in a liberal arts field was much, much more difficult and time-consuming than learning to sing.
“Insecurity is integral to femininity” is your second argument. In some ways you’re actually right. The concept of femininity is defined against masculinity, so you’re correct in stating that it carries with it an idea of powerlessness. But I don’t want to be “feminine” any more than I want to be insecure. I don’t care whether you’re attracted to me, and I don’t care whether my confidence kills your erection. You then make an argument that the rise in mental illness in women is due to the fact that women are overconfident and unhappy about it. But this is substantiated by no facts anywhere. Furthermore, there is not a rise in mental illness – there is a rise in DIAGNOSED mental illness, meaning medicine is finally able to deal with a problem that has been present throughout human history. There are also many men suffering from mental illness, but they are less likely to seek treatment because of dangerous attitudes like your own. So feel proud: you are perpetuating your own gender’s misery as well as women’s. That’s some skill.
Next you argue that women don’t want to have high self-esteem: you say that we “know our feminism is a lie.” You know, I decided that I would go to college and have a career when I was four years old, which was definitely before I could be influenced by “dangerous feminism.” I’ve lived the sort of life you’re suggesting I want: I spent almost three years with an abusive boyfriend who made sure to keep my self-esteem low and make me feel that my place was to serve him. And I wasn’t happy. I was lonely and isolated, I had no respect for myself, and I didn’t believe he loved me. Because he didn’t. He treated me like an object. I was the most unhappy I’d ever been and considered ending my life. My mom has lived as you’re suggesting we want to live for the majority of her life. And she struggles with the depression you claim is linked with independence. Now that I am free of that relationship and have gained what you consider a dangerous confidence, I am actually happy. And I’m not even going to address the disgusting comments you made about rape culture, because they do not deserve a reply.
You make an interesting argument that “real life fails the Bechdel test.” And for some women, it does. But these aren’t the women who are independent. The women for whom real life fails the Bechdel test have internalized the same misogyny that you are spewing and directed it toward themselves. So what you are using as “proof” that women “want to be dominated” is actually proof that the system of misogyny is self-perpetuating. This is akin to punishing a dog harshly for eating meat its whole life and then using the fact that the dog avoids meat to “prove” that all dogs “naturally” hate meat.
In conclusion, I’d like to propose a definition: a “real” person is a person with the capacity for empathy. So instead of arguing that women aren’t real people, maybe you should consider an alternative argument: you aren’t a real person. Otherwise, you would never be able to justify your abusive, psychopathic rhetoric.