• freaking out the book representative from [Company Redacted]. I emailed you last week about a book I am genuinely interested in using. Why you chose to ignore that email is beyond me. Your response to a voicemail in which I referenced [Competing Company]'s similar textbook (and much more helpful representative!) made my morning more amusing. I'll still probably use your book. But yer gonna sweat for it, lazy person.
  • leaving a small take-out box filled with candy in the mailbox of awesome colleague. Let us hope she enjoys peanut butter cups as much as I do
  • catching another colleague in a very blatant lie. Oops! You're a liar and a jerk and now we both know that I know.
  • emailing the department that's sponsoring my new class about getting me some students from said class and watching THINGS ACTUALLY HAPPEN (this is super vague, but I created a new class! it's exciting because it's new! and also because new class = more $$$$ which I would be ever-so-grateful to have) Enrollment > 0
  • responding to repeated invitations from the worst of the dreaded band wives with, "I can't, I'm busy."
  • responding to repeated invitations from the worst of the band wives with, "I can't, I'm busy," and having it be the truth.
  • watching the worst of the band wives totally fucking scramble to confirm plans with me because now that I am not available, I am suddenly that much more awesome. Hello, 13 year old social pecking order. I had nearly forgotten you.
  • Silently explaining to the worst of the band wives how, if she would actually keep the plans she effing makes, I might have more time to spend with her. But since she can't be bothered? I can't either.
  • my office mate's (unsuccessful) passive-aggressive attempts at making me refill the printer cartridge. I HAVE USED IT ONCE THIS SEMESTER. YOU ARE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF.
  • THIS trailer
  • and also this gif which summarizes my philosophies about life:
  • NAPTIME