Today I went to the university library. No particular reason, GreenHunk and I were just killing time and campus was one of the least expensive and least cold places to go. And I started thinking about how much I used to identify with the idea of being a student and/or teacher.
I've always been good at formal education - that was my greatest talent growing up. I went straight from high school to undergrad to grad school. When I left grad school I felt like a part of me was missing. For the first year and a half after I graduated I would go to campus and just sit there and people watch and feel sorry for myself at least once a week. Today, for the first time, I didn't feel like there was a part of me missing when I went back. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'd still rather be in school than be as bored as I am now at work. But since I've graduated I've learned so many important life lessons. Oh, sure, in school I learned about Foucault and Derrida and medieval romances, but since then I've learned about feminism, how to be a better ally, how to identify and leave an abusive relationship. I've learned to abandon my elitism. I've learned to face my fears and begin to heal from my past. I've learned to be a better friend. I've learned how to be happy.
I guess I wouldn't say I don't want to be a student or a teacher. It's just no longer my primary identity.
I feel old, you guys.