Welcome To The Bitchery

In Which I Say "Hella Legit" To All My Profs

I've noticed a trend in my vernacular. As y'all know, I pretty much use "hella" and "legit" in every post/comment. Because I'm hip to the groove (not really). And if you're a professor on here, what's the most legit response you've gotten from a student that cracked you up?

What I've said in the past two weeks/past few months, that I just picked up on:

  • To a professor helping me with my philosophy paper: "Yeah, like, for real. Nietzsche was hella into wanting you to think for yourself. So basically I'm gonna use my opinions to jive with what he's laying down." Response: "Ok...um, you can do that. Just make sure I can, um, understand it."
  • Thing one I've said to another professor, informing me of a topic I could use for my independent study. This was a crime that involved some guy shooting three women or something in the same house. After a second of not filtering: "Yo brah, that was a brothel, no lie, straight up. Prostitution, for real." Response: Professor laughs uncontrollably, to the point where he had to hide his head on his desk. Then just said: "The theory-(more laughing)-is a government agency put a hit on them..."
  • Second thing I said to the same professor that I think I mentioned here, but it was after he asked about our thoughts about police abusing power. Of course everyone else had an informed answer. I snarked, without thinking: "Real talk, LAPD." Professor laughed so hard he had to put his head on the lectern. Some football player responded: "That chick is right! Fuck da police!"
  • To another professor: "Dude, like, for real. The Romantics were whiney ass bitches." I was doing research for them at the time. They said they probably shouldn't say that to their class.
  • To my philosophy TA who is like, 80, but seems to tolerate me: "Like, the philosophers were all messed up because of Napoleon, and decided to go all 'Our country is legit because we hate that Napoleon, not a bro. So we're gonna get all nationalistic up in here." Guess what country was totally into nationalism? Hint: Oktoberfest.
  • Bonus and infamous: "Like, investigators like to be around dead people because they aren't alive. Because they're like, dead. And thus not for real alive or something." Not my best moment.
  • Another bonus, because I love you all: "Robespierre used to be too legit to quit with all that 'let's get rights up in hurrrrr' (hurrrrr=here). But then he done goofed and failed at suicide." Stunned everyone because I'm so smart.
Advertisement

I've reigned in my cursing, so that's good. But at least my homie profs have a sense of humor. And they actually encourage me to join their ranks. Title of my dissertation: "Real Talk, [insert topic here] This Shit Was Cray, Ya Dig?"

And then I get my Phd and teach kids how to be hella legit. And I might be Ali G. Respekt.

Share This Story