Hey you guise. Looks like tis the season for depression and relationship shit?
That's my deal. My fish are at best doing poorly, and I'd say they're on life support. My coping mechanism is to withdraw and berate myself with abusive self-talk. It's been an awesome week. It's not all relationship-based. In fact, most of it wasn't.
PollyDude and I...I don't know what's going on. I think we're breaking up? It has nothing to do with us and our relationship, and more to do with him, his ex, and some really nasty custody stuff and he's alternating between lashing out at everyone and withdrawing more spectacularly than I can. It's a really horrible and complicated situation that I think he thinks he's protecting me from, and I am just about positive that some of it is him trying to protect himself by shutting down. It's bullshit, unfair, and I'm very very upset. I waver between different degrees of anger towards him, but when I found out it's about his kids, my anger mostly went away. Not all the way, because he did really hurt me when this started, and he's being unfair, but understanding the source means I cut some slack for things I wouldn't otherwise tolerate.
I decided to dedicate today to being a bum (but I can't just be a bum; I did my chores last night so I wouldn't feel guilty) since I have the house to myself for a week, but I also want to clean the freezer. I'm not particularly chatty right now, but I feel better than I have all week, so maybe I won't lurk like I planned to.
I know I'm not the only one feeling super shitty right now, and I want you guys to know I'm sending you my support, but my energy isn't where it normally is, so I'm not really active with commenting. Though I'm clearly active with commas.
Does anyone else turn to YouTube when down? What are your favorite pick-me-up videos?