So, I've decided to chronicle my adventures in OKC. Today's installment: The Law Student. Includes Sorority Sista BFF (SSBFF), and her wise words.
A gif to start:
Oh, Lucille. You are expressing my feelings about last night. Mostly the "What the fuck is wrong with this person?" feelings.
This was my second date with this guy. The first date was awful, but I'm such a softie that I gave him a second chance. Maybe he would be different, and would actually let me get a word in a word in edgewise-a few sentences that would make me sound semi-intellegent. Because The Law Student was very full of himself, and made me feel very stupid. I'm not, but you know the type: the guy who thinks he's the smartest dude in the room, and makes you feel bad because you "don't know the law". My parents are lawyers. I've been educated about the law since I was six. But that was a bit of a side rant. Here's the list of why we are never going out again:
- He is a bore. Like, I would rather have a gun to my head, and forced to a city council meeting about the pros and cons about the new location of a stop sign. Which would go on for hours, because all the old people would be going "Back in my day...blah blah blah".
- He insulted my intelligence. Because the one thing that turns a girl on is being told "Well, if you knew what you were talking about [insert subject here]".
- He insulted my future dream of working in an archive. "Well, why would you want to be around students all day? Why don't you want to get a Phd, and actually make a difference". Why don't you switch career paths? Because the job market is sucky for people who want to go into employment law. No disrespect to my brilliant lawyer Jezzies. Because y'all got it going on!
- He. Doesn't. Laugh. Seriously. I'm pretty stoic when I have to be, but I like to laugh and crack dumb jokes. He doesn't understand jokes. Maybe his ego is so big, that he became a robot. And not a fun one. Like the Mystery Science Theater 3000 ones.
- He likes to brag. And he makes fun of me because I haven't been to Mexico or Vegas in my "adult" years. Um, newsflash from The Situation Room: I've been spending the last four years doing constant school work and hella therapy. (didn't mention the therapy).
- Condescending. He was a history major too, but hates the history program at our school (which he didn't attend as an undergrad-in fact he was at a different university). And he was very rude when I mentioned that everything is history. "Really? You obviously are confused about what the definition of history is".
- Awkward. The whole ordeal was awkward. After coffee (at 9pm, when we were supposed to meet at 7:30pm), he took me on a walk through this sketch-ass neighborhood. And questioned my beliefs when I mentioned that the psychic shop was pretty cool. And there were a lot of long pauses.
- He basically made fun of me for talking a cab to a place where there is absolutely no parking. Um, I'm not driving to a place where the only parking is seven blocks away and in the notorious pimp hangout. I'm not looking for a side job now.
- And, the cherry on top: he looked crestfallen when I told him I was going home. Instead of to his place. Like, seriously man? I'm not going back to your place to fuck you, especially when I barely know you! Plus, he's an asshole-and I really didn't want to see his physical asshole.
Obviously, he's not getting a third chance. Yesterday I learned: even though my parents (and godfather) are great lawyers, I'm beginning to worry about this guys future law career.
Now, lets get to my SSBFF and her advice. I filled her in on Skype about the two dates, and here is what she said:
Oh my gwad! Don't doooooo it agains! He's an asshole! You can do better than that. You're hot, you're a badass, and you're hella smart. You don't need this guy in your life! Like, for realz-he isn't even worth your time. It's like [insert name of ex from forever ago], because your shoes are worth more than his life! Come on gurllll, this shit is cray!
Also, can we party in Hollywood this weekend? Girl I want to get cray to get over [insert name of the guy who basically ruined her life because they were in "love". Spoiler alert: he was a dick]. Gurllll, like, we need to get our party on!
Note: this is how she talks. I love her.
So, the bad: The Law Student turned out to be The Blah Student. The good: PARTYING IN HOLLYWOOD THIS WEEKEND WOOT!