I know, I know- I have better things to worry about than my weight, but I went to the doctors this morning and found out I gained 20 pounds since I last saw them in late September. I never used to have a complex about my weight until one day a doctor told me I had a high, but normal BMI (leading me to obsess about having a not normal BMI).

It's fucking ridiculous. I was at an all time low adult weight six months ago because I was stressed out and undereating. Now I'm cooking a lot of delicious, natural shit, exercising Twice weekly, and trying to make myself enjoy eating so I won't under eat and my pants are not fitting properly around my ass.

I can't win. This game sucks. I don't want to play anymore but I'm forced to as an actress. I'm constantly asked to disclose the dimensions of my body and judged for it as a condition of employment. Directors expect someone my height (5'8" ish) to weigh close to 110lbs. Fucking Beyonce would be too heavy for some of them.

Aside from the pants thing, which I chalked up to all the exercise, I think I look OK. If it wasn't job related I probably wouldn't care as much. But I do and I feel shitty about it.

What do you do when you start obsessing about weight, GT?