Would any more knowledgeable intersectional/womanist GTers be willing to weigh in here?
A (black) acquaintance posted this Madame Noir article to her Facebook wall today. As a white woman from a lower-middle-class background, I don't really feel qualified to speak about it, but it set off weird bells in my head while reading. (I don't know much about Madame Noir as a source, either.)
I'm uncomfortable with the idea of painting all black men with the same brush, but I can't speak to the general realities black women encounter in dating and relationships. I know that a long history of oppressive structures in combination with the present oppression and the prison-industrial-drug war complex has placed enormous stresses on the black community and has broken the "traditional"/"nuclear" family in a lot of ways. I can see this as an individual's reaction to the difficulties presented by these realities. It still makes me uncomfortable.
I can see where this fits my friend's worldview, and I respect her and her opinions. She's worked so hard to get to college, get a good degree, study abroad, get a good job. She's driven and motivated, and she's working on her own start-up now. And she's spoken about feeling like she intimidates the guys she meets.
I might be phrasing this badly, and I'm sorry if I am. I was wondering if this is a place where the interests of an individual woman clash with the general "group" interests represented when we speak generally in some intersectional discussions. People should marry who they want to marry, they should marry a supportive spouse who can carry an equal burden, and clearly my friend doesn't see that happening with a black man, at least from her experience. The individual solution is to date a man who does not fit the negative traits she sees, ie here, a white man. It's not her job to fix society/fight the battle against the oppressive system.
But the article still makes me really uncomfortable. It's not my job to be comfortable here. It's my job to listen and learn. I know it's not anyone else's job to teach me, but would anyone be willing to help me untangle this?