Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery

As always, originally published on Fifty Shades of Coral.

I may have just gone a little crazy online at Sephora and Ulta. Let me know if you'd be interested in any sort of 'haul' review or video or something. I'm more excited than I should be. Presents! For me!

Hello, my little cabbages!

My Ipsy bag arrived, and this month the bag has that distinctive plastic chemical smell. Maybe it's just me, but I actually really really like that smell on things. My boyfriend likens it to enjoying new-car smell. People think you're bonkers, but it is what it is. I mean, people think I'm bonkers anyway, but whatever! The bag itself is pretty great - bigger than usual and with a cool record player design on it. This months' selections weren't anything to scoff at either, so let's get reviewing!

Illustration for article titled Ipsy April 2014 - Beauty Rocks!

Coastal Scents Classic Shadow Medium Natural ($2.49) - Hooray for more brushes! I love it so much! No, seriously, I love when sub boxes send me makeup brushes. I get so indecisive on my own that I can never actually make the decisions when it comes to buying them myself, so this takes out all that guesswork. Lovely for me, lovely for them, just all sorts of lovely all around. My collection, it grows! These brushes aren't the fanciest, or the most expensive, but they're darn good for what they cost, and I always enjoy when they send the natural bristle version instead of the synthetic. Depending on the sort of shadow or powder I use, having options between the two 'types' of brushes is appreciated. Well done, Ipsy. Well done.

Elizabeth Mott pop! goes the shadow in champagne ($12.99) - Oh, this is a beautiful color. I'm not 100% sold on the formulation, I've been so spoiled by Urban Decay shadows (seriously, they are the silkiest, butteriest things evah) that this just feels a little 'hard' to me. The color, however, absolutely makes up for it. It's a sparkly almost rose-gold taupe that will look fabulous as a highlighter (especially once I actually start getting something of a tan!) or as a base color on your lids. I've probably mentioned this before, but I really like taupe in general. Yeah, I know, it's weird, but you guys love me anyways, right? RIGHT? Last thought on this shadow: I think it might be a smidge over-priced. $13 for a teensy singular shadow is... a lot. If it were maybe $7 or $8 I'd understand better. But the size we got IS the full size (honestly thought it was a deluxe sample at first), and I just don't see it being worth actually purchasing. But if you love it, or the other two color options, so be it! You do you, my friends!

Urban Decay 24/7 Velvet Glide-On Eye Pencil in Black Velvet ($20 full size) - Thanks to Ipsy and Birchbox, I'm not sure I will ever again have to actually purchase eyeliner. Especially black eyeliner. I have it in a variety of brands, finishes, pencils, pens, you name it, I probably have it. Ok, I don't have a gel pot eyeliner. But we try not to let Jess near anything too difficult, and that definitely falls into 'too difficult' so that's forgivable. I would manage to poke myself in the eye and get goop everywhere. Anyway, this is a 'deluxe sample' that is all of 0.01oz smaller than the full size. So I'm very pleased with that. Especially if this really does turn out to be long-wear. I'm totally fine with buying expensive eye-makeup remover if it means I don't have to constantly worry about touching up and smudging. Well done again, Ipsy. You're kind of killing it this month, aren't you?


dr. brandt microdermabrasion skin exfoliant ($78-$120 full size) - The only product that isn't basically full size! This sample, though? Worth almost $20. What the hell. I've heard great things about it, naturally, but I'm always skeptical of skin care products that are THAT pricey. I'll also be pretty hesitant to use it - I'm not a huge fan of putting strong chemicals on my face and I think this qualifies as a strong chemicals. Heck, some pumpkin and glycolic acid mask that I got in a box a while back is too stingy for my face to be super happy with it! Has anyone used this and loved it? It may get packed away into the 'things to give to mom' stash, unless someone with oily and pore-riffic skin can assure me it's awesome. Yes, I'm scared of a skin care sample. I'm not ashamed. It has 'abrasion' in the damn NAME, for goodness sakes!

Starlooks Luscious Longwear Lip Pencil ($14) - Lip liners. Oh, lip liners. I know I'm SUPPOSED to use you, and like you, and appreciate you. But... I don't. I really just don't. However, I shall give you a shot. This color (Naked, oh la la!) seems pretty neutral, and like it'll go with a lot of my preferred lip sticks, so it can't hurt to try. The formulation actually feels pretty great, not super difficult to apply and very smooth. Next up: figuring out where the hell 'starlooks' came from and why it is in all the beauty boxes. Seriously, guys, what the heck? Did I just like totally miss the boat on this one or something? Whatever, the products are pretty great and while seem to be a bit more expensive than I'd argue they're worth, not overly so. Except for some of the palettes. C'mon Starlooks, you've really gotta sell me on something before you expect me to pay $100 for some eyeshadows! /end rant.


Overall, the value on this Ipsy bag was fantastic. The subscription is $10 a month, and this bag alone was worth $70+. Not bad, eh?? I've acquired some products that I'm looking forward to trying, and things that will actually be useful. Brushes! Lip liner! Eye liner! Hooray! They should have thrown in a mascara, then I'd have almost an entire look in a bag!

What did you lovely Coralista's get this month? Anything amazing? Let me live vicariously through you! If you've not yet signed up for Ipsy (which is foolish, really), please consider using my referral link, found HERE!



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