Jezzies, tell me your thoughts. I've heard this saying before, and I'm wondering what y'all think.
Since, of course, it's probably a situation dependent offer, let me tell you my situation. I just got out of a 6 year relationship, where I was dumped. It's been 2-3 months. I did not want to break up, and I am still in love with my ex. For the past few years, he's been dealing with depression and a lot of issues, and I was financially and emotionally supporting us both. He fell out of love with me, but stayed around for another year because he at this point felt really dependent on me and trying to make it work in his head, but then broke up with me saying he wasn't in love with me, didn't feel like he had the emotional capacity to be in love, and needed to be alone to work on all of his issues. He gave me the "We're best friends, you're still the most important person in my life, I still really want you in my life, but I can't date you" spiel.
Well, it's 2 months out and he's already seeing another girl. Nothing serious so far, but they're dating. Which is super cool. REALLY COOL YOU GUYS. He says he's fine. He says that this is the way he deals with stuff (which is actually true, and I believe, I've known him for a very long time) and that it's helping him get over me.
And it seems to be working great for him. Of course, I'm sitting at home nauseous at the thought of him touching someone. He's trying to tell me that I should go out and find some one too. We both have really high libidos, and honestly, not having sex regularly makes me feel crazy. And actually makes it harder for me to deal with my emotional stuff.
But doing that feels wrong, somehow. I'm still kind of in love with this person, and while I had no problem doing one night stand stuff before we dated, I seriously can't picture doing any of that now. I literally cannot imagine having sex with someone else, and it feels like it would still be wrong or immoral or something.
But damn it, I need physical contact. And also, I would love something that distracted me and made it easier for me to stop being in love or to distract me from how sad I am all the time - just something new to think about it. I'm at that point of being miserable. And before you say it, I'm okay with being alone and I am focusing on myself for the first time in a long time, and doing all the things I need to do for me. I'm just genuinely wondering about this as a short coping strategy while doing all that. Sort of a rip off the bandaid, force myself forward thing.
Tell me your thoughts and experiences, Jezzies. I know I have to make the decision, but I'm curious what you've tried and how it's worked. This is more of a divorce than a breakup, and I know it's going to take a long time to get over no matter what (unless you're my ex-boyfriend, who decided to do all the hard work of getting over me while I was still there, dating him and sleeping next to him and loving him).
Please note - this also comes from the fact that for the first time today I managed to say no to sex with him since we broke up. We've weaned and such, but had a few fall backs. And today for the first time I looked at him and said, no, I deserve more than this. I really wanted to you guys. I really, really did.