A few years ago, I was on EHarmony. I met a handful of guys there, and had two short-term relationships spring from those meetings. The main thing I remember from my experience on the site was that the people I communicated with all sent fairly thoughtful messages. Maybe this was due to the fact that there were other hurdles you had to get through before you just sent open messages back and forth. You had to get through "guided communication" first and decide that you liked each others' answers to multiple choice and short answer questions, view their "must haves" and "can't stands" in terms of a partner, etc... anyway, the dudes that I completed this process with were all fairly good about sending decent "open communication" messages, such as "I liked your answer to x question, here's why:_____" or "I too love Christopher Guest movies, my favorite part in Best in Show is_______, what is your favorite?" et cetera.

Apparently I was taking this type of discourse for granted, because here's the deal with OKCupid: NOBODY DOES THAT SHIT. Every single message I've gotten has consisted of "Hey." "Hi." (Uh. Hi.) "What's up?" "Let's chat." (No, let's not.) OR, they're chock full of "I" statements with no questions about me, or indication as to why they decided to message me. What am I supposed to do with that? Okay, your name is Josh and you graduated from junior college last year and you have a great sense of humor. Congratulations Josh, best of luck to you in your future endeavors, I will be deleting this message now! I get the sense that people on paid sites have more skin in the game in terms of forking out money for it, so maybe that's why they put more effort into communication, but this is irritating.

I propose the following outline for messages:

Hi, I noticed you mentioned _________ in your profile. I too am interested in _________. What do you think about________? Did you do anything fun this weekend? I did ________! Hope you've had a nice day so far!

It's not that hard. Throw me a bone here, people.