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Is this okay>? Am I going to be okay?

Warning -TMI ahead!

It is 5pm in Seattle - I have been reading GT all day. I only moved from my bed (I am on top of the duvet not in it and it is one of those beds that you can adjust to a sitting position - long story on how I got a $6,000 bed to be told another time) to feed the cat, make coffee, and now start some eggs for brunchner. I know that I just got furloughed (June 15th), broke up with my (now) ex (last September but she did not move out until March), found a new apt and downsized my books (June 15th). I can't remember if this is what I was like before I met my ex - it probably was.

I just went over my clinic's recap of visit report; it lists what I came in for, what meds I am on, and Problem List as of 8/9/13:

ADD; Carpal Tunnel; CMC arthritis, thumb degenerative; Depression; Epigastric pain; Hiatal hernia; Hyperlipidemia; Insomnia; Lateral epicondylitis of elbow; Obesity; Peripheral Neuropathy; Renal Calculi; Sleep apnea.


No mention of the actual reason I went in - my knees. I am in pain all the time; most of it has no treatment and pain meds don't work as it is a neuropathy. The arthritis is the only pain that can be medicated; my doc did okay my going to see a knee specialist and we took some pictures of my knees; my appointment is next week. I always ask for copies of my x-rays and other pictures of my body like MRI etc. - I just looked, the knee cd is blank so I did not get the pictures damnit.

Some days I get out - like walk to my gym and workout (6k paces there and back); some days like today 1200 paces. I ran out of olive oil (lately my favorite food has been toasting bread in olive oil) so I will probably go out for a bit to buy some.

I mentioned before that I seem to be unable to call people - but I can respond to calls. I have been going over this in my head for a while and I think I know what this is - I do not like to ask people for anything. Back in the day, when chatting on the phone was a thing, I used to call all my friends and chat, but now I have to ask them if they want to get together and that is what I find difficult. I was invited to a friend's b'day party - it was fun and the friends partner said "let's get together" and told me I had to call them. I can't or at least I can't yet. Adjusting to living by myself again probably would have gone better if I had not been furloughed - I expect to be called back early December.

I have issues, sigh. I am going out to get some olive oil and something to eat (I am beginning to live on eggs again, old habits die hard). I had a bunch of things to say but now that I started this post, I got nothing - bunnybomb me please.


NB: I am mostly just venting; I will be okay - see y'all when I get back.

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