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Is This What it's like Being Devastated?

It’s been almost 2 months since my ex-boyfriend broke up with me, and I’m still crying almost everyday...

Emotional devastation on this level has never happened to me before and I don’t really know how to deal. I go through the motions most days. Some days like today are bad when it’s difficult to get out of bed or do anything productive besides watch Netflix while crocheting.

I think about him everyday, everything reminds me of him and I can’t shake it. It’s been zero contact since our breakup, nothing - no phone calls, text, social media, etc. But I think about him everyday, where he is, how he is, if he’s well. I miss him. I really really miss him.


It’s his birthday in a few days and I’m fighting the urge to message him “Happy Birthday”. I’m sure nothing good can come of it, but it’s so hard to think of it passing without acknowledging it. And I find it hard because I don’t want to talk about it with people - I just want to be alone most of the time because being around people in general exhausts me. I just feel like my current circle of friends wouldn’t really understand - I’m supposed to go camping in a couple of weeks and I’m thinking of bailing because the thought of all those people and being far away from the comfort of my bed and apartment and neighbourhood is too much.

This kind of breakup has never happened to me before, and it doesn’t seem to be getting easier as time goes on. One of my current sewing projects is handkerchiefs because the area around my eyes is getting irritated from all the crying/wiping with kleenex.

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