I have good news! The lead inspector person came to visit and witnessed the lead paint dust and made the contractors clean it up. I may soon be able to use my front door again! But only temporarily, since it needs to be painted and if it's painted, it will have to stay open for hours, filling my apartment with fumes and pollen, forcing me to evacuate. That said, most recent boyfriend is becoming social again and I may at the very least get my buddy back soon.
Warning: while I find this to be completely plausible, this appears to have been produced by a Bachmann parody page. YMMV.
In other Political Bizarroland News, Laura Ingraham went on a rant about Justice Sotomayor siding with her "immigrant ancestry" over the Constitution because she uses "undocumented immigrant" instead of "illegal alien," a term that she finds insulting. (Hint: Stotomayor is Puerto Rican and thus has less immigrant ancestry than Ingraham has.) Also, this proves that the campaign fraud charges against D'Souza shouldn't exist, because immigration something something. I honestly couldn't follow her argument; it was that bad.
But it's a good thing that we find out about these things or we wouldn't know that chemtrails are militant atheists trying to poison angels.
...it seems quite logical that the atheist's next step would be to attempt the widespread murder of Jesus's very Heavenly Agents of Love. Angels. They are much more than a Christian bedtime story. They are much more than the sweet flutterings in the ears of believers. Angels are quite literally the factory workers of faith.
In equally sensible news, GOAT SIMULATOR, YOU GUISE. TW: car on goat violence, goat on brick wall violence, goat on bucket on redneck violence, goat ragdoll physics, goat neck contortion.
On the sexism front, we have Bryan Singer, director of Superman Returns, a movie that turns out to have gotten bad reviews and press because it was too much "for women" where "for women" apparently means "not enough explosions to cover for the boring first half of the movie."
It doesn't have a female lead. It doesn't pass the Bechdel test. It doesn't let women drive the plot. It doesn't even feature an interesting Lois Lane the way Man of Steel's Amy Adams character does. In fact, Kate Bosworth's casting is a triumph of superficiality over plausibility.... The nubile casting just didn't work with the seasoned-pro character. Superman Returns offered nothing to women.
My friend's dog may go viral.
Finally in non-Valentine's Day News That My Facebook Friends Feel Fit to Repost, we have an expose of consent issues and slut shaming in The Bachelor. This type of TV show has always bothered me and I think that this article covers only part of the issue, so I'll give you a short overview of why I've never watched it. It's a dating show in which a panel of people pick photogenic women who then compete for the attention of a rich man that they haven't met prior to the show, with the prize being a marriage proposal to a near-stranger based largely on looks and the presumption of money. However, there's an even darker side that I didn't know about because I don't watch creepy shit that's not intended to be creepy.
Well, it turns out that the last round involves off-camera, private romantic activities with each contestant, in which sex is presumed. This is a serious consent issue. The contestants are effectively required to give consent to sex and short-term non-monagamy or effectively disqualify themselves from the game— at the last possible time and when they feel like they have a good chance of winning. That's a little coercive. But according to the expose, it's even worse than that, because in the case of the person talking about it, the contestant was a father and she found a way to sneak off with him and have sex because she really liked him and thought he liked her, but then the next day he didn't want anything to do with her because he didn't want his daughter seeing that. Say what now, Mr Double Standards?
In Valentine's News, it's easy to tell which of my friends have no dates are are bitter about it. No, we're not sad and lonely and drinking alone in sweatpants! We just have 31 Grilled Cheeses that are Better Than a Boyfriend, 19 reasons that your Best Friend is the Only Valentine's Date You Need, 10 Reasons That Valentine's Day is Better When You're Single, no really, I'm not crying, and 27 Red Velvet Deserts That Want to be Your Valentine.
Finally, in today's featured Buzzfeed quiz: What arbitrary thing are you? I got:
Have a sloth.