Big changes are happening in my life and some are scary as all fuck and some are pretty exciting. In this post I'll focus on the exciting.
I will be starting a PsyD program at the end of August [that's a big part of the scary as all fuck]. This is a huge transition in my life, and I am trying to make the most of it. I am trying to redefine myself as a Real Person.
In my adult life I've had two major "identities": Student and Patient. When I was an undergraduate basically all I did was study; I had no life outside of class and a few organized extracurriculars. I hated it. When I was a patient all I was was a patient; weeks, sometimes months in the hospital. I hated it. (When I was in neither situation I just felt like I was in limbo and had no identity.) In these two situations my life was only based around one thing, and that was neither healthy nor enjoyable. In my mind, Real People have multifaceted lives: a social life, a family life, a work/academic life, a life characterized by the pursuit of enjoyment. And so this is what I'm trying to create for myself.
One big step has already been completed: on Saturday I became a resident of New York City! I am renting a studio apartment, and I saved up some money so I could decorate it in a way that wasn't college dorm-y. Not that there's anything wrong with dorms, but that's just not who I am anymore. I am building a Real Adult Life for myself, and I want my apartment to reflect that. I have a bed for the first time since freshman year of college with sheets that I like. I have a dining table and chairs (well, stools). And I have a beautiful shower curtain that was for some reason on clearance. (Also, thank goodness for Bed Bath & Beyond 20% off coupons.) When I went to bed on Saturday night I felt content with the space I created. Pursuit of enjoyment.
My boyfriend helped me move in and wound up staying over. He lives in his own apartment, and since graduation until Friday I was living with my parents (thanks, unemployment), so I had slept at his place several times but he had only slept at mine/my parents' house twice, both when my parents were out of town. (It felt like we were 15.) So this weekend was the first time he slept at my place. And I couldn't have been happier to have him there with me. Social life.
Also, I made plans to get together with one of my sisters who lives in the city this week. My other sister attends the same program I will be attending, so I hope to see her some more too. Family life.
The work and academic life haven't started just yet, but they will soon.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I feel like I have an opportunity to finally have a balanced life, and I've been taking some steps to make that happen.
Or maybe this positivity is due to the fact that in my new apartment I put one of those HappyLights and used it for the first time on Sunday morning. That's probably also the reason it's 1:19am on Monday and I'm not tired even though I've been up since 6:30am on Sunday.