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It's been about a week since I started Tumblr and I FUCKING LOVE IT

I do!!!!!!! It is awesome.

I like it because all I want do is make some stupid, funny shit and have people see and go "haha." Tumblr has delivered. It's the easiest, most annoyance free form of social media I have ever tried. I enjoy it much, much better than Twitter or Facebook. It's no Happier, but hey, not everything can be a giant orange abyss of Lithium-fueled contentment.

Here's a few things I have learned:

  • HOLY SHIT IT IS FULL OF SO MANY GODDAMN TEENAGERS! Whoa! I feel like the FBI has probably already started some file somewhere on my 39-year-old ass since about 100 13 year old boys and girls have posted pictures of themselves laying in bed or wearing bikinis in the past week alone. I'm sorry, PRISM. I didn't ask for this, OK? I'm just trying to make some funny gifs out of the dudes from Supernatural.
This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.
  • A lot of those teenagers are really fucking funny. Who knew? I thought teenagers just called each other ugly and stupid and blogged about Justin Bieber and threatened to kill Selena Gomez.
  • I am woefully out of touch with 90 percent of the vernacular of today's youth. Without the Urban Dictionary, I would have made some very tragic mistakes so far.
  • There are more gifs of Jared Padalecki on Tumblr than people living on the Asian continent.
  • I did change my Burt Reynolds Cosmo pic to feature less of his hairy naked bod and hidden penis and more of his torso. Having a naked, hairy man as your profile pic and reblogging a bunch of teenagers' photos is really not a very good idea at all. Probably the worst idea ever.
  • Random porn will pop up and surprise you. And not just like boob shots or the occasional sex scene. Like hard core, two chicks gettin' on with a giant dildo shaped like Gandalf and three blindfolded men dressed like Zorro. Then you have to explain to your boyfriend why you have this on your computer and how, no, this is not something you 'secretly want to try.'

Anyone, if you on Tumblr, I would love to follow you, so hit me up. And please when the FBI comes to interview all of you about all the weird shit I have on my computer from teenagers, please tell them it was all because of the alcohol. That's the defense I'm planning to go with, anyway.

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