Probably not a good idea, I forget that getting drunk can make me super depressed. Bahhhhhh

Now I’m filled with all sort of random thoughts and annoyances.

First of all, I forgot how much I liked FFX-2. All the transformations are great. Gun Mage is still my fav outfit I need these pants!! (The one in the middle)

1. I strongly dislike my building manager. He is creeper. I try so hard to avoid him because I can’t stand the way he looks at me. He screamed at me from across the parking structure and my auto response was I have headphones on, I can’t hear you, and fuck off. (Not safety thing, because he wants to talk to me, stare at my chest and comment on my green lipstick)

2. Friend who stopped talking to me, posted an article relevant to a health issue I have. One I’ve presented on and they’ve watched a talk a gave on it. Not sure why they posted it, guys don’t usually talk about aspects of women’s health that don’t directly effect them. I commented, but I’m sure they won’t respond. Kinda feel like a fool that I responded. I was also drunk... I also mentioned my usual note of “In Canada you are basically fucked unless your doctor actually fucks you. Then you can kinda get justice, but not really.” Probably a little too strong (different words, but you get the idea)

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3. Kinda lonely, but also happy to be alone.

4. TW (mentions of sexual assault and victim blaming) Therapy was rough yesterday, but it was super validating to talk to a therapist who validated one of my biggest non medical traumas. The first one told I had no real problems, and the second one asked me to define why I described as a sexual assault (I guess because man and 2 women were involved it got super confusing for him!). Both former therapists were men, and one is up on charges of sexually abusing a patient. In case you are curious, it’s not one of those grey moments when you aren’t sure what happen, if you rational person you’d say “Umm ya that was sexual assault.” And she didn’t do the usual bullshit of “Oh teens are just like, I’m sure that when they have kids they’ll understand it was bad thing to do.” or “I’m sure they must have had a bad home life.” She straight up said something like “Bad people often get what’s coming to them... insert personal story... and she got cancer and died.” I laughed I wasn’t expecting that. It’s good because it means I can talk about the sexual abuse my ex put me through that I’m sure my two old therapists would say “But he’s your boyfriend!” or “you have to understand he doesn’t have the same tools as you do.” (which one did say and I freaked the fuck out at him).

5. Sometimes I just want to be a misandrist because it feels way safer. (even though my best friend is a guy and I’m closest to my brothers).

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I want salty fatty fat fat breakfast.