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Tomorrow is the office Thanksgiving and I am bringing apple dumplings. Two pans of them.

So I go to the store and get my apples and butter and crescent rolls and come home to start baking.

Then I realize I bought 4 apples but only 2 cans of crescent rolls. 4 apples would make 32 dumplings but the crescent rolls only add up to 16. So I guess it’s only ONE DAMN PAN!


I can’t find my stupid peeler so I have to use a knife and it takes forever. I cut 2 apples into 8 wedges each, or so I thought

Then I open the cans of rolls and accidentally got crescent ROUNDS. The strips are straight not vaugely like triangles like “regular” crescents. The strips make a bulkier dumpling but I figure it will work.

So I start wrapping and then end up with 15 slices of apple instead of 16. I don’t know what hell happened. I guess I missed dividing one of the 4 ths of apple.

I make the sauce and pour that over the dumplings and put all that shit in the oven.


After they are nice and brown I take them out but there is way too much sauce and I don’t want them all soggy and gross so I spoon some out into a bowl and realize...I FORGOT TO PUT THE CINNAMON ON THEM BEFORE BAKING.


I pull the tin out of the cabinet and start sprinkling and I RUN OUT OF CINNAMON.


This is the first thing I’ve cooked for this job and I sure hope they are okay but I don’t like cooked fruit so I can’t even taste them. And even if I did like them I couldn’t taste test because there are only FIFTEEN OF THEM.

I think I’m just gonna go to bed before something else happens

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