I have a running gag (this pun will be funny in a sec) with my coworkers about the size of my mouth. It's not an especially large-looking mouth, it's that I can fit a lot into it. I once fit fourteen gingersnaps in there. I have photographic evidence, but I don't feel like looking for it right now. There is also photographic evidence of me stuffing a Chipotle burrito into my mouth. I've also been asked to fit a chocolate covered pineapple ring and a really large cracker in there. For science, of course.

The point is, I can fit a lot in there. But for the second time this month, I have been served, and expected to eat, a goddamned tower of Babel sandwich. Twin Cities GTers know what I mean. So tonight, I was served THIS madrecazzo (thanks , Smithwellette!):

It's called the Fatty Melt, and it is described on the menu as "a grilled cheese sandwich and a burger had a baby." LIES, ALL LIES! It IS, however two grilled cheese sandwiches having a threesome with a hamburger. It's sexy, yeah, but HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIT A THREESOME IN MY MOUTH? How, restaurant owners, the fuck am I supposed to eat these sandwiches? Not even I, the Queen of Will It Fit, can squish them shits into my face and down my gullet. Sigh.

On the other hand, I hit my quarterly goal at work somehow, and wound up with a bonus that doubled my paycheck. ADULT. AS. FUCK.