IT'S THE MOST WONDER-FUL TIIIIIIIIIIIIIME .... OF THE YEAR. (Can you sense the sarcasm?) It's the last day to drop a class!

I haven't attended since January!


I suddenly remembered that the three week stretch I missed in February? That's because seven of my grandmothers died! This cannot be documented but IT IS VERY SAD.

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That paper I plagiarized in early March? I'D LIKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO REWRITE. PLEASE AND THANKYOU.

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The regular credit I cannot be bothered to do? I would like to supplement it. With extra credit. Which has been explained in detail in the syllabus I have not yet - AND NEVER WILL - read.

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Are you my professor? Mrs. FlutterDame? That's not your name? You aren't a professor? Or a Mrs.?

Your name is pronounced differently? I DON'T CARE. DO YOU OFFER EXTRA CREDIT?!?

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I did not do it on purpose, but I have a meeting the hour before class and a haircut the hour after, so all the supersadstory meetings are occurring in the 8 a.m. hour. Which is pretty rich, because the class they can't get up to attend is not until several hours later.

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I will leave you with this. Which is the nicest thing I can be bothered to say right now:


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