IT'S THE MOST WONDER-FUL TIIIIIIIIIIIIIME .... OF THE YEAR. (Can you sense the sarcasm?) It's the last day to drop a class!
I haven't attended since January!
I suddenly remembered that the three week stretch I missed in February? That's because seven of my grandmothers died! This cannot be documented but IT IS VERY SAD.
That paper I plagiarized in early March? I'D LIKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO REWRITE. PLEASE AND THANKYOU.
The regular credit I cannot be bothered to do? I would like to supplement it. With extra credit. Which has been explained in detail in the syllabus I have not yet - AND NEVER WILL - read.
Are you my professor? Mrs. FlutterDame? That's not your name? You aren't a professor? Or a Mrs.?
Your name is pronounced differently? I DON'T CARE. DO YOU OFFER EXTRA CREDIT?!?
I did not do it on purpose, but I have a meeting the hour before class and a haircut the hour after, so all the supersadstory meetings are occurring in the 8 a.m. hour. Which is pretty rich, because the class they can't get up to attend is not until several hours later.
I will leave you with this. Which is the nicest thing I can be bothered to say right now: