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I've Been Adulting and It's Just Making Me Grumpy!

I'm starting down the rabbit hole of buying my first house. I've been planning to do this sometime around when my lease runs out at the end of February next year, so I've been reading books and trying to learn all about it. This is good. But I'm starting to get grumpy with some of the different players. Anybody here bought a house and can tell me to chill out (or that I'm totally justified)?

So, I signed up on a few sites to casually look at homes online and see what was out there. I got a few calls from realtors and I asked a few questions and ultimately settled on a team. They suggested a lender.

After she pressed me about NEEDING to get preapproved right away (4 months out?) I went to see said lender (she was trying to do business over the phone, and I don't like to talk my money over the phone). The meeting was fine, I got approved for WAY more money than I could ever make the monthly payment on, so I settled for an amount that I was comfortable with and that's what I told my realtor to set up for in our online searches. All good.


Well, a week ago, I emailed the lender from the email on her business card (of which she gave me a stack that I could "hand out to everyone!") with a few questions that I'd come across in my reading. I was curious about the whole "points" thing since she didn't mention it and also about the interest rate difference between 15 and 30 year mortgages, and also how additional payments would affect me (I get bonuses at work). I still haven't heard back from her and it's making me mad! I mean, it was less than 24 hours from when she was recommended to me to when I met with her, she was super quick to want to get together right away, but she can't answer an email with some simple questions in a week?!

But it's not just her! My best friend's mom took me out to look at some homes that she really liked. She doesn't understand that I want a place I can fix up with my dad, she thinks I couldn't possibly want a home that someone else has used. So she took me to these brand new (teeny tiny) places out by her. It helped confirm that I do, in fact, want something not new! Not only were they small, but they were also about 15k over my budget. I talked to my realtor and told her about the experience and how I was definitely happy with the search parameters we had set up.

So the next thing I know, the realtor changes the search settings so that they are going up to 15k over my budget. Um... no! I emailed her and told her that I would only be willing to look about 5k over my budget and only on the condition that I (a) felt like I was getting an amazing deal either with sq.ft. or something extra special, or (b) if she felt like it was really overpriced and was something she could negotiate down to being in my budget.

The next email I get from the realtor is an advert type thing that tells me how real estate is at its most affordable level right now and she commented how buyers should be flexible with budgets because she would hate for me to miss out. It really pissed me off. I told her a budget and she just said "well, that doesn't really matter." I mean, we haven't even gone out and seen any of the properties in person yet, but what I've seen online, I can definitely get something I like below my budget amount! It's still my money and I still need to be comfortable with what I'm paying, no matter what the amount that she gets a commission on!


Am I just being a jerk about this, or am I justifiably grumpy?

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