My dad is always stressed over spending, and he makes other people around him feel bad about it, even if the spending is well within his means. I totally understand that it's important to be cautious about spending, but he oversteps the "being cautious" line. I've been picking up on this habit more and more as the years go by. I get so stressed out when I spend money, even when I CAN spend the money. In fact, I like to spend money. However, I feel major internal conflict and panic about spending a lot at a time to the point that I just can't stop thinking about. Now that I have my own small salary, it feels great to be able to treat myself and others, but I still get the panicked feeling, tense feeling. For instance, I just went to the liquor store because I wanted to get my mom wine to treat her, I got some wine for a friend who's place I'm staying at this weekend, and I got some Patron to give my friend for her 21st birthday. These are gifts within my current means! I'm so happy that I can give people nice gifts! So why do I feel so stressed out about spending money on them?
Blagh, I'm only 22. I don't want to feel this way forever. I already deal with anxiety in other aspects of my life. I just want to let this go. And just to add on, I hope this post doesn't sound classist or anything of the sort. I am very grateful and fortunate for my job, the fact that my parents are letting me live with them this year and are willing to provide me with things when I need it, etc. This is just an internal conflict I've been dealing with since I was practically a kid.