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She is also my imaginary future wife. It’s complicated.

Here is a recent quote where she talks about her dog, Chaplin:

“He had been hit by a car when he was a puppy. Basically he was on death watch. His pelvis was broken; he lost a leg. Whenever I’m feeling down at all, I just look at Chaplin, who always has the best smile on his face, and I’m like, ‘What is wrong with me? Look at this beautiful bit of sunshine here who is just so happy to be alive.” - Modern Luxury magazine

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Who the hell does she think she is?

Here are pictures of her and her sickeningly adorable dog:

Illustration for article titled Jessica Chastain is my nemesis
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Illustration for article titled Jessica Chastain is my nemesis
Illustration for article titled Jessica Chastain is my nemesis
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I hate her so much, OK.

I wonder if she’d like a fall wedding?

Yes, I’m procrastinating.

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